You know, my life is not much different from that of the Israelites. It's easy to look back on their decisions and think, "What were they thinking??". They followed great leaders (Moses, Joshua, David). They witnessed outstanding miracles of God. They had the Promised Land within their grasp...and they chose to worship a false god?
Then God shows me my own life, and I realize I could easily fit into the pages of the Israelites blunders. How many times have I turned aside from the one true God in order to worship many fake gods? How many times have I placed beauty on the pedestal and cast God to the ground?
Too many times to count.
The truth is- I am in the same boat as the Israelites. I trust God for awhile, then find something else to trust in. Something I can see. Something I can predict. Something that can work for me.
It starts out well (as well as any relationship with something unreal can start). I reap the benefits of serving what I can see. Beauty comes little by little. Attention comes periodically. Purpose comes and goes as it pleases.
But nothing lasts. These "gods" cannot give us what we are looking for because they were never meant to sustain us. They are fake. Unreal. Lies.
When we get to the end of them, we each have a choice to make: will I continue to flight toward one god, then another, or will I finally give up control and serve the one true God?
It's a choice. And like the Israelites, you will probably go back and forth in that decision.
It doesn't have to be that way though. You don't have to give into the laws of beauty. You don't have to bow down to the god of thinness. You don't have to serve the gods of this world: wealth, success, beauty, fame, control, comfort... Whatever your god is today, you can make the choice to serve one that is TRUE, POWERFUL, and REAL.
Joshua was a boy who knew who his God was. He know who the one true God was, and he followed him. He urged the Israelites to finally choose. He urged them to make up their minds. He urged them to stop going back and forth and to finally make a decision.
And he's urging us today. He's challenging you and me to decide. Will you serve what you can see, in all of its limited ability? Or will you let go of control and look to what is true?
Only you can make that choice. Only you can choose to discard the god you hold onto, and turn to the real deal.
Only you.
Verse: "Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshipped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:14-15)
Day Forty-Eight: Exercising for Change
9/29/2009
Let's talk about exercise.
How do you view it? Do you see it as a means to the goal of your perfect body, or do you see it as the activity that keeps your heart beating and your body working?
The way you view exercise really does affect you.
Now, I am in no way, shape or form an exercise fiend. I was not born with any kind of athletic ability besides the gift of being able to walk on two feet. I do, however, get caught up in the "exercise syndrome" time and time again. There are times I go to the gym with the intent of "getting healthy", and instead leave with the idea that I have to measure up to the woman next to me. There are times I workout because I know it is a way to take care of my God-given body, but there are also times I workout in order to look like the model in the magazine.
It's all about motivation.
Exercise is generally not the problem. It's not wrong to take a run or lift some weights. It's not wrong to participate in daily exercise. In fact, it's healthy. It's good for you, your body, and your emotions!
The problem lies in the reasons for exercising. You know what I mean. When you are exercising to "tone up" and "lose all fat", the motivations may be a little skewed. Exercising should not be about attaining the picture-perfect body. It should be all about taking care of the body you have been given.
Nothing more, nothing less.
You see, exercising today has almost become a right of passage for the modern day woman. And I am not talking about the normal, healthy 30-45 minutes a day kind.
I am talking about the excruciating, continual kind. The kind that you hate doing. The kind that makes healthy people squirm with fright (or envy). The kind that is motivated solely by the picture on the magazine or the woman working out next to you.
That kind is dangerous.
That kind of exercise singles out and eliminates. It becomes obsessive. It becomes controlling. It becomes a burden.
It becomes an idol.
Yes, my friend, even exercise can become an idol. When you place it on a shelf of importance (higher than anything else), you have gone too far. It's time to get right about exercise.
I know this may not be society's "accepted" view, but it is God's view. God's command that nothing should be esteemed more important than He. Not even the weight machine, the running shoes, or the fitness classes.
I'm not saying exercise is wrong. It isn't.
I'm not saying to stop exercising. Don't.
I'm just saying that it may be time to reassess your motivations, because it is definitely time to reassess mine. You can be healthy and still be motivated for the wrong reasons.
Think about it. Pray about it. Search God's word for it.
Beauty is not about attaining that goal body; it is about honoring God with the body you already have.
I'll leave you with a few verses that God has used to challenge me in this area.
Psalm 97:7
Romans 12:1
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
1 Corinthians 10:31
Galatians 5:24
Ephesians 5:1
Colossians 2:20
Colossians 3:2
and...Psalm 139
How do you view it? Do you see it as a means to the goal of your perfect body, or do you see it as the activity that keeps your heart beating and your body working?
The way you view exercise really does affect you.
Now, I am in no way, shape or form an exercise fiend. I was not born with any kind of athletic ability besides the gift of being able to walk on two feet. I do, however, get caught up in the "exercise syndrome" time and time again. There are times I go to the gym with the intent of "getting healthy", and instead leave with the idea that I have to measure up to the woman next to me. There are times I workout because I know it is a way to take care of my God-given body, but there are also times I workout in order to look like the model in the magazine.
It's all about motivation.
Exercise is generally not the problem. It's not wrong to take a run or lift some weights. It's not wrong to participate in daily exercise. In fact, it's healthy. It's good for you, your body, and your emotions!
The problem lies in the reasons for exercising. You know what I mean. When you are exercising to "tone up" and "lose all fat", the motivations may be a little skewed. Exercising should not be about attaining the picture-perfect body. It should be all about taking care of the body you have been given.
Nothing more, nothing less.
You see, exercising today has almost become a right of passage for the modern day woman. And I am not talking about the normal, healthy 30-45 minutes a day kind.
I am talking about the excruciating, continual kind. The kind that you hate doing. The kind that makes healthy people squirm with fright (or envy). The kind that is motivated solely by the picture on the magazine or the woman working out next to you.
That kind is dangerous.
That kind of exercise singles out and eliminates. It becomes obsessive. It becomes controlling. It becomes a burden.
It becomes an idol.
Yes, my friend, even exercise can become an idol. When you place it on a shelf of importance (higher than anything else), you have gone too far. It's time to get right about exercise.
I know this may not be society's "accepted" view, but it is God's view. God's command that nothing should be esteemed more important than He. Not even the weight machine, the running shoes, or the fitness classes.
I'm not saying exercise is wrong. It isn't.
I'm not saying to stop exercising. Don't.
I'm just saying that it may be time to reassess your motivations, because it is definitely time to reassess mine. You can be healthy and still be motivated for the wrong reasons.
Think about it. Pray about it. Search God's word for it.
Beauty is not about attaining that goal body; it is about honoring God with the body you already have.
I'll leave you with a few verses that God has used to challenge me in this area.
Psalm 97:7
Romans 12:1
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
1 Corinthians 10:31
Galatians 5:24
Ephesians 5:1
Colossians 2:20
Colossians 3:2
and...Psalm 139
Day Forty-Seven: Avoid Extremes
9/28/2009
We live in a world of extremes. Moderation was been thrown out the window, and all-or-nothing thinking reigns. Healthy is not simply eating a few fruits and vegetables here and there; healthy now means eating ONLY fruits and vegetables (and not allowing any type of "unhealthy" into your diet whatsoever). Thin is not a number within a normal weight range; thin now means weighing significantly below average (and losing more and more each day). Beauty is not a broad definition that includes everyone; beauty now applies to the select few who have passed the test, spent the money, and toiled over the perfection of image.
Beauty today lies in the extremes.
We all have tendencies to shift to extreme thinking. Every time I decide to eat "healthy", I notice that I start to twist the definition of healthy to match up to the world's definition: fruits, vegetables, no sugar, no artificial anything.
That's not healthy.
Healthy is eating a balanced diet. And by balanced I mean some sugar and artificialness is okay. Eating dessert every once in awhile is not a big deal. Checking the nutrition facts on everything is not necessary. There is room to breathe in the true meaning of healthy.
There is a definite line that gets crossed on the quest to health. When food starts to take over your life and relationships, the line has been crossed. When you refuse to go out with friends for dessert, the line has been crossed. When you can list off the foods you eat day-in and day-out, the line has been crossed.
Extremes lie on the other side of that line.
Some people may not think extremes are bad. "They produce will-power," some say. Or they "build character". There are people that live by the philosophy of self-motivation and deprivation.
I am not one of them. At least, not anymore.
I don't believe healthy is an extreme. Healthy is a moderation-not too much, not too little. It is not a list of rigid rules. It is not an aisle in the grocery store holding cardboard tasting cereal. It is not living by the diet advice of the day.
Healthy is giving yourself the freedom to live. It is paying attention to what your body needs, and not cutting out the "impure". Healthy is knowing the extremes are not the only means to the end...because the end of moderation is much different than the ends of the extremes.
The end of moderation leads to freedom. The end of extremism leads to slavery.
Today's challenge is to avoid the extremes. Don't label food as bad or good. Don't fall on the bandwagon of health that so many use and abuse. Live in the freedom to make the right decisions for you and refuse to give in to the opinions of the extremists. After all, you have what is best in the end: life.
Verse: "But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do."
Beauty today lies in the extremes.
We all have tendencies to shift to extreme thinking. Every time I decide to eat "healthy", I notice that I start to twist the definition of healthy to match up to the world's definition: fruits, vegetables, no sugar, no artificial anything.
That's not healthy.
Healthy is eating a balanced diet. And by balanced I mean some sugar and artificialness is okay. Eating dessert every once in awhile is not a big deal. Checking the nutrition facts on everything is not necessary. There is room to breathe in the true meaning of healthy.
There is a definite line that gets crossed on the quest to health. When food starts to take over your life and relationships, the line has been crossed. When you refuse to go out with friends for dessert, the line has been crossed. When you can list off the foods you eat day-in and day-out, the line has been crossed.
Extremes lie on the other side of that line.
Some people may not think extremes are bad. "They produce will-power," some say. Or they "build character". There are people that live by the philosophy of self-motivation and deprivation.
I am not one of them. At least, not anymore.
I don't believe healthy is an extreme. Healthy is a moderation-not too much, not too little. It is not a list of rigid rules. It is not an aisle in the grocery store holding cardboard tasting cereal. It is not living by the diet advice of the day.
Healthy is giving yourself the freedom to live. It is paying attention to what your body needs, and not cutting out the "impure". Healthy is knowing the extremes are not the only means to the end...because the end of moderation is much different than the ends of the extremes.
The end of moderation leads to freedom. The end of extremism leads to slavery.
Today's challenge is to avoid the extremes. Don't label food as bad or good. Don't fall on the bandwagon of health that so many use and abuse. Live in the freedom to make the right decisions for you and refuse to give in to the opinions of the extremists. After all, you have what is best in the end: life.
Verse: "But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do."
Day Forty-Six: Just Be You
9/26/2009
One of the hardest challenges in life is being you.
Stores sell products that tell you to change. Magazines flaunt pictures that want you to change. Friends may even tell you that this or that needs to change in order for you to be "okay".
But here's the truth: you don't need to change.
You don't need to be the woman on the magazine to be beautiful. You are beautiful.
You don't need to own 200 pairs of designer shoes to obtain beauty.
You don't need to buy the latest and greatest beauty enhancer, or buy into the continuous "self-improvement" cycle.
You don't need to improve anymore; you just need to be you.
Today take the time to find out who "you" are. The you without the pressures. The you without the expectations. The you who is beautiful and perfect and unique.
Be you, and stop trying to be her.
Verse: "We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise." (2 Corinthians 10:12)
Stores sell products that tell you to change. Magazines flaunt pictures that want you to change. Friends may even tell you that this or that needs to change in order for you to be "okay".
But here's the truth: you don't need to change.
You don't need to be the woman on the magazine to be beautiful. You are beautiful.
You don't need to own 200 pairs of designer shoes to obtain beauty.
You don't need to buy the latest and greatest beauty enhancer, or buy into the continuous "self-improvement" cycle.
You don't need to improve anymore; you just need to be you.
Today take the time to find out who "you" are. The you without the pressures. The you without the expectations. The you who is beautiful and perfect and unique.
Be you, and stop trying to be her.
Verse: "We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise." (2 Corinthians 10:12)
Day Forty-Five: Work on the Small Things
9/25/2009
I have a funny-serious story for you involving a 2-inch yellow packet of fake sugar. Let me just say before I begin, it is definitely the small things that matter.
I am a coffee drinker. I always say I love my coffee anyway but black; however, yesterday I found out that's not really true.
In the mornings at home, I like my coffee a certain way: with Splenda.
You may be sitting there thinking, "Well, so do I. I don't see the point." Just wait...I promise I have a point to this account.
Yesterday was like any other normal weekday morning...until I went down to get a cup of coffee. There, in the Splenda box, sat one packet of artificial sweetener.
I nearly had a fit.
I couldn't believe that I had forgotten to tell someone the Splenda was running out...the world had come to an end! Refusing to use sugar, I emptied that one lonely packet into my coffee and complained about how my day was ruined. (See, I'm really not as "put together" as you may think!)
With the energy of one (not two) cup of coffee, I moved forward with my day. I didn't give the incident a second thought until right before lunch, when the incident slammed back into my mind. I couldn't decipher what was going on in my head; all I knew was that I felt guilty.
And then I found out why.
I was giving that little packet of Splenda a lot more power than it deserved. Instead of just using sugar, I complained and threw a mini-trantrum in my mind. The thing was: Splenda had become my stronghold.
It was that one thing that I still held onto for control. I could go out and eat a cheeseburger with no problem, but tell me that I have to use SUGAR in my coffee?!
I couldn't do it.
That is a dangerous place to be, my friend. What may not seem to physically harm you can do a lot of damage spiritually. Those little strongholds can wreak havoc in your walk with God.
In 2 Corinthians, Paul instructs us how to deal with these strongholds: "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)
The word for stronghold, as used here, is actually "ochuroma". The literal meaning in the ancient test is this: "to fortify, through the idea of holding safely; a castle". Basically, anything we run to for shelter and safety that is not God. Splenda has been a stronghold for me. It is the thing I run to when thoughts about "beauty" increase. It is where I found a lot of safety.
No wonder people call it a "safe" food.
The thing is, your stronghold may seem safe to you, but it's really not so safe. It is actually destructive. Instead of depending upon the One who made you and knows you, you place your trust in something (anything) else. My stronghold was my way of holding on to my definition of beauty; yours may be something completely different.
Whatever your stronghold is, I challenge you to let go of it today. It may feel weird. It may even be scary.
But freedom is so much better than slavery.
Today my Splenda box sits empty and sees no future of ever being refilled. A stronghold needs to be neglected in order to lose it's power...will you leave yours today? I promise, those few moments of discomfort are worth it.
Verse: "We demolish arguments and every pretensions that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5)
I am a coffee drinker. I always say I love my coffee anyway but black; however, yesterday I found out that's not really true.
In the mornings at home, I like my coffee a certain way: with Splenda.
You may be sitting there thinking, "Well, so do I. I don't see the point." Just wait...I promise I have a point to this account.
Yesterday was like any other normal weekday morning...until I went down to get a cup of coffee. There, in the Splenda box, sat one packet of artificial sweetener.
I nearly had a fit.
I couldn't believe that I had forgotten to tell someone the Splenda was running out...the world had come to an end! Refusing to use sugar, I emptied that one lonely packet into my coffee and complained about how my day was ruined. (See, I'm really not as "put together" as you may think!)
With the energy of one (not two) cup of coffee, I moved forward with my day. I didn't give the incident a second thought until right before lunch, when the incident slammed back into my mind. I couldn't decipher what was going on in my head; all I knew was that I felt guilty.
And then I found out why.
I was giving that little packet of Splenda a lot more power than it deserved. Instead of just using sugar, I complained and threw a mini-trantrum in my mind. The thing was: Splenda had become my stronghold.
It was that one thing that I still held onto for control. I could go out and eat a cheeseburger with no problem, but tell me that I have to use SUGAR in my coffee?!
I couldn't do it.
That is a dangerous place to be, my friend. What may not seem to physically harm you can do a lot of damage spiritually. Those little strongholds can wreak havoc in your walk with God.
In 2 Corinthians, Paul instructs us how to deal with these strongholds: "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)
The word for stronghold, as used here, is actually "ochuroma". The literal meaning in the ancient test is this: "to fortify, through the idea of holding safely; a castle". Basically, anything we run to for shelter and safety that is not God. Splenda has been a stronghold for me. It is the thing I run to when thoughts about "beauty" increase. It is where I found a lot of safety.
No wonder people call it a "safe" food.
The thing is, your stronghold may seem safe to you, but it's really not so safe. It is actually destructive. Instead of depending upon the One who made you and knows you, you place your trust in something (anything) else. My stronghold was my way of holding on to my definition of beauty; yours may be something completely different.
Whatever your stronghold is, I challenge you to let go of it today. It may feel weird. It may even be scary.
But freedom is so much better than slavery.
Today my Splenda box sits empty and sees no future of ever being refilled. A stronghold needs to be neglected in order to lose it's power...will you leave yours today? I promise, those few moments of discomfort are worth it.
Verse: "We demolish arguments and every pretensions that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5)
Day Forty-Five: Stop Making Excuses
9/24/2009
Have you ever noticed the tendency to excuse the way you look? When you meet a person under the not-so-ideal circumstances, do you say, "I know, I look horrible. I usually don't..."
If you have never done this, you are my idea of Superwoman. I have the tendency to have this tendency all the time.
This week I had to submit a photo for a devotion I wrote for the Proverbs 31 division, She Seeks. I started to attached the professional photoshopped image, but something just did not feel right. I felt like I was cheating.
Maybe because my devotion was about being real.
All of a sudden, I knew I could not submit that picture. Everything in me wanted to send it. "There will be people I don't know reading this devotion...I have to look my best!"
But looking my best at the expense of losing my message?
Not ideal.
So I did the unthinkable...I took a picture without make-up.
Yes, for the world to see.
I saw a million things wrong with that photo. Everything in me wanted to delete it and send in a "good" picture, one with make-up and perfection. I wanted to throw my idea out the window and pretend it never occurred to me.
But I didn't. I attached the photo and started typing. I typed and typed away, listing all the excuses I could think of for why my picture looked so "bad". I apologized for my face. I justified the photo through my devotion. I said I wanted to be "real"...so sorry.
And then I deleted. I realized that my excuses were not only unnecessary; they were wrong. Why should I make excuses for not wearing make-up? Why should I ever feel like I have to excuse the way I look? Why do I care about the opinion of women on the other side of the computer screen?
I shouldn't. I know that perfection is not where my beauty lies. I know that God created me without make-up, and I don't need make-up to be seen as beautiful. I don't need perfection.
What I need is to be real.
So I sent the image, imperfections and all. Despite my worries. Despite my fears. Despite my excuses.
God doesn't make excuses for His creation, so why should we?
Verse: "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good." (Genesis 1:31)
If you have never done this, you are my idea of Superwoman. I have the tendency to have this tendency all the time.
This week I had to submit a photo for a devotion I wrote for the Proverbs 31 division, She Seeks. I started to attached the professional photoshopped image, but something just did not feel right. I felt like I was cheating.
Maybe because my devotion was about being real.
All of a sudden, I knew I could not submit that picture. Everything in me wanted to send it. "There will be people I don't know reading this devotion...I have to look my best!"
But looking my best at the expense of losing my message?
Not ideal.
So I did the unthinkable...I took a picture without make-up.
Yes, for the world to see.
I saw a million things wrong with that photo. Everything in me wanted to delete it and send in a "good" picture, one with make-up and perfection. I wanted to throw my idea out the window and pretend it never occurred to me.
But I didn't. I attached the photo and started typing. I typed and typed away, listing all the excuses I could think of for why my picture looked so "bad". I apologized for my face. I justified the photo through my devotion. I said I wanted to be "real"...so sorry.
And then I deleted. I realized that my excuses were not only unnecessary; they were wrong. Why should I make excuses for not wearing make-up? Why should I ever feel like I have to excuse the way I look? Why do I care about the opinion of women on the other side of the computer screen?
I shouldn't. I know that perfection is not where my beauty lies. I know that God created me without make-up, and I don't need make-up to be seen as beautiful. I don't need perfection.
What I need is to be real.
So I sent the image, imperfections and all. Despite my worries. Despite my fears. Despite my excuses.
God doesn't make excuses for His creation, so why should we?
Verse: "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good." (Genesis 1:31)
Day Forty-Four: You Have to Believe in the Change
9/23/2009
One of the biggest hurdles to change is unbelief. Unbelief that things will change. Unbelief that things can change. And unbelief that you can change them.
Ever struggled with that?
I know I have. In fact, I continue to run into unbelief as I make efforts to change. I will never forget a particular conversation I had with a woman a couple of months ago. After I finished telling her about my passions to change "beauty", she looked at me and said, "I think that's a great dream, but do you really think things will change?"
Her unbelief shook me.
I started doubting myself. Questions started plagued my mind. What can I, a 19 year old girl, do to help change the definition of beauty and see women live in freedom? Am I crazy? Am I just an unrealistic dreamer? Am I expecting too much? Should I quit while I am ahead?
Those questions tend to scream the loudest when I meet someone who doesn't believe in change. Those questions terrorize my mind until I run to God. And there, at His feet, I find truth.
Believe.
In order to change, you have to believe that things will change. In order to find freedom, you have to have faith that freedom exists. If I had not believed that God could free me from the chains of my eating disorder, I would not have tried to get better. If I did not have faith that God could free me from the shackles of depression, I would have given up.
But I did believe, and because of my belief I stand here free, ready to instigate change.
Martin Luther King, Jr. believed in change so greatly that change happened. His passion spread like a wildfire. People caught his vision and ran with it. Change happened because of one man's unwavering belief.
Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton believed in change for women so passionately that change happened. Their dedication to a cause that was often ignored and ridiculed eventually paved the path to women's rights. People caught on to the hope and dreamed of a better life. Change happened because those two women refused to give up.
Do you believe in change? Do you believe that you can live free? Do you believe that the world around us can change? Do you believe that God will do what He says He will do?
Belief directs change. Belief supports change. Belief leads to change.
Today's challenge is to believe. Have faith that change will happen. Believe in the vision you see in your life. Believe that God will make it happen. Freedom is possible. Change is possible.
As long as you just believe.
Verse: "Don't be afraid; just believe." (Mark 5:36)- Make sure you take the time to read this passage later...what amazing faith this ruler had!
Ever struggled with that?
I know I have. In fact, I continue to run into unbelief as I make efforts to change. I will never forget a particular conversation I had with a woman a couple of months ago. After I finished telling her about my passions to change "beauty", she looked at me and said, "I think that's a great dream, but do you really think things will change?"
Her unbelief shook me.
I started doubting myself. Questions started plagued my mind. What can I, a 19 year old girl, do to help change the definition of beauty and see women live in freedom? Am I crazy? Am I just an unrealistic dreamer? Am I expecting too much? Should I quit while I am ahead?
Those questions tend to scream the loudest when I meet someone who doesn't believe in change. Those questions terrorize my mind until I run to God. And there, at His feet, I find truth.
Believe.
In order to change, you have to believe that things will change. In order to find freedom, you have to have faith that freedom exists. If I had not believed that God could free me from the chains of my eating disorder, I would not have tried to get better. If I did not have faith that God could free me from the shackles of depression, I would have given up.
But I did believe, and because of my belief I stand here free, ready to instigate change.
Martin Luther King, Jr. believed in change so greatly that change happened. His passion spread like a wildfire. People caught his vision and ran with it. Change happened because of one man's unwavering belief.
Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton believed in change for women so passionately that change happened. Their dedication to a cause that was often ignored and ridiculed eventually paved the path to women's rights. People caught on to the hope and dreamed of a better life. Change happened because those two women refused to give up.
Do you believe in change? Do you believe that you can live free? Do you believe that the world around us can change? Do you believe that God will do what He says He will do?
Belief directs change. Belief supports change. Belief leads to change.
Today's challenge is to believe. Have faith that change will happen. Believe in the vision you see in your life. Believe that God will make it happen. Freedom is possible. Change is possible.
As long as you just believe.
Verse: "Don't be afraid; just believe." (Mark 5:36)- Make sure you take the time to read this passage later...what amazing faith this ruler had!
Day Forty-Three: Let Go of the Raft
9/22/2009
I am making a big change today: I am cutting my hair.
I know, I know. For some this may not be a big change, but for me-it is huge. For about a year I have held on tight to the dead cells atop my head, and it's time to let them go.
For beauty's sake.
Here's the thing: beauty ceases to be beauty when you have to hold on tight to keep it. When you have to cling so desperately to something in order to feel beautiful, you have lost the true definition of beauty. Beauty should never be something you fear losing. The minute your beauty becomes dependent on a certain physical characteristic is the minute beauty becomes disproportionate in your life.
For me, that minute happened about a year ago. And let me tell you, I have stretched out that minute to encompass a LONG period of time. What should have been a passing minute turned into a stationary minute. What should have been a passing thought turned into a stationary thought. What should have been a definition of beauty thrown down turned into a definition that was picked up, stowed away, and lived by.
We all do it. We all cling to a certain aspect of beauty, whether you realize it or not. Some women refuse to go anywhere without a pair of heels on their feet...the heels make them feel beautiful. Some women refuse to face the public without the armory of lipstick...the safety of the color makes them feel beautiful. Some girls refuse to change the size of their clothes...the number makes them feel beautiful. Still more girls cling to the numbers on the scale....the dropping digits make them feel beautiful.
Me? I cling to my hair.
So it's time to cut it off.
It sounds a little drastic, I know. But hear me out on this one. I have kept my hair long for fear of losing beauty. People have told me that long hair is beautiful; therefore, I in turn took that to mean I am only beautiful with long hair. So I clung. I clung to someone else's definition of beauty instead of my own. I was scared that losing my hair meant losing beauty.
That's not the truth.
The truth is, you can't lose beauty. Not true beauty. Beauty is so much more than the length of hair, the shade of lipstick, or the size of your jeans. Beauty is that heartbeat that makes you unique. Beauty is the characteristic underneath the make-up, not the make-up. Beauty is not meant to be clung to, for the moment you cling to it is the moment it ceases to be beautiful.
Today's challenge is to let go of the characteristic you hold onto. Let go of the fear that you will be- dare I say the word?- ugly without that life support raft.
I promise you won't be. You'll just be one step closer to the true meaning of beauty.
Verse: "Your beauty should not come from the outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter 3:3-4)
I know, I know. For some this may not be a big change, but for me-it is huge. For about a year I have held on tight to the dead cells atop my head, and it's time to let them go.
For beauty's sake.
Here's the thing: beauty ceases to be beauty when you have to hold on tight to keep it. When you have to cling so desperately to something in order to feel beautiful, you have lost the true definition of beauty. Beauty should never be something you fear losing. The minute your beauty becomes dependent on a certain physical characteristic is the minute beauty becomes disproportionate in your life.
For me, that minute happened about a year ago. And let me tell you, I have stretched out that minute to encompass a LONG period of time. What should have been a passing minute turned into a stationary minute. What should have been a passing thought turned into a stationary thought. What should have been a definition of beauty thrown down turned into a definition that was picked up, stowed away, and lived by.
We all do it. We all cling to a certain aspect of beauty, whether you realize it or not. Some women refuse to go anywhere without a pair of heels on their feet...the heels make them feel beautiful. Some women refuse to face the public without the armory of lipstick...the safety of the color makes them feel beautiful. Some girls refuse to change the size of their clothes...the number makes them feel beautiful. Still more girls cling to the numbers on the scale....the dropping digits make them feel beautiful.
Me? I cling to my hair.
So it's time to cut it off.
It sounds a little drastic, I know. But hear me out on this one. I have kept my hair long for fear of losing beauty. People have told me that long hair is beautiful; therefore, I in turn took that to mean I am only beautiful with long hair. So I clung. I clung to someone else's definition of beauty instead of my own. I was scared that losing my hair meant losing beauty.
That's not the truth.
The truth is, you can't lose beauty. Not true beauty. Beauty is so much more than the length of hair, the shade of lipstick, or the size of your jeans. Beauty is that heartbeat that makes you unique. Beauty is the characteristic underneath the make-up, not the make-up. Beauty is not meant to be clung to, for the moment you cling to it is the moment it ceases to be beautiful.
Today's challenge is to let go of the characteristic you hold onto. Let go of the fear that you will be- dare I say the word?- ugly without that life support raft.
I promise you won't be. You'll just be one step closer to the true meaning of beauty.
Verse: "Your beauty should not come from the outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter 3:3-4)
Day Forty-Two: Dream Big
9/21/2009
If I could use one word to describe today's definition of beauty, it would be this: destructive.
Beauty as we see it all around us today is destructive. It destroys the self-esteem of girls during the most pivotal time of their lives. It destroys the dreams of women as they launch into new careers. It destroys the hopes of women who just seem to never measure up. It destroys lives, families, truth, health...the list is endless.
I know girls who have given up their dreams in life to be "beautiful". The sad thing is, they are smart girls. Bright girls. Innovative girls. They are girls who could be going somewhere, yet instead they choose to chase a definition that will only end in destruction.
In the introduction of Shannon Cutt's book Beating Ana: How to Outsmart You Eating Disorder & Take Your Life Back, Jessica Weiner, author and eating disorder activist, says this: "What we fail to remember sometimes is that eating disorders tend to impact the bright, sensitive, and visionary people of our time."
Bright. Sensitive. Visionary.
It's not the nobodies that pursue the unrealistic expectations of beauty. These aren't the girls that may or may accomplish something with their lives. These are the girls who have the potential to do something great for society...yet they waste their efforts on obtaining physical perfection instead of chasing after their true passions.
I know; I used to be one of those girls.
Had you told me two years ago that I would do something beneficial in my life, I would not have believed you. Nor would I have wanted to believe you. I was perfectly content in my pursuit of beauty. I was perfectly content building my life around my eating disorder. My goal was to be beautiful, and everything else was just a wasted effort. Nothing but the reflection in the mirror mattered.
I'm not saying that I didn't care about anyone else; I did care. However, I was so consumed with chasing beauty that I did not have time to adequately express my concern because, well, I was more concerned about what I looked like than helping anyone else.
The most destructive thing about beauty is this: it overwhelms your life and won't allow you to focus on anything else but its definition.
I've seen it time and time again. I had friends who dreamed big. Some wanted to be doctors. Some wanted to be athletes. Some wanted to save the world from AIDS. Some were definitely going places.
And then some threw away their dreams so they could measure up to the pictures in the magazines.
Today's challenge is different than most. Today I am not changing my actions. I am not diving into my mind and changing my thoughts and reactions. Today I am dreaming. I am dreaming of what I can do now that I am free from the chains of beauty. I am taking back those dreams I threw away long ago and making them mine.
I am dreaming big. I am allowing God to replace that drive for beauty with a drive for Him.
Beauty is not about you and it is not about me. It's about dreaming big. It's about not giving up and giving in to a mediocre dream. If you believe it can happen, watch for it to happen.
Beauty is about what we can do to change the world, one big dream at a time.
Verse: "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26)
Beauty as we see it all around us today is destructive. It destroys the self-esteem of girls during the most pivotal time of their lives. It destroys the dreams of women as they launch into new careers. It destroys the hopes of women who just seem to never measure up. It destroys lives, families, truth, health...the list is endless.
I know girls who have given up their dreams in life to be "beautiful". The sad thing is, they are smart girls. Bright girls. Innovative girls. They are girls who could be going somewhere, yet instead they choose to chase a definition that will only end in destruction.
In the introduction of Shannon Cutt's book Beating Ana: How to Outsmart You Eating Disorder & Take Your Life Back, Jessica Weiner, author and eating disorder activist, says this: "What we fail to remember sometimes is that eating disorders tend to impact the bright, sensitive, and visionary people of our time."
Bright. Sensitive. Visionary.
It's not the nobodies that pursue the unrealistic expectations of beauty. These aren't the girls that may or may accomplish something with their lives. These are the girls who have the potential to do something great for society...yet they waste their efforts on obtaining physical perfection instead of chasing after their true passions.
I know; I used to be one of those girls.
Had you told me two years ago that I would do something beneficial in my life, I would not have believed you. Nor would I have wanted to believe you. I was perfectly content in my pursuit of beauty. I was perfectly content building my life around my eating disorder. My goal was to be beautiful, and everything else was just a wasted effort. Nothing but the reflection in the mirror mattered.
I'm not saying that I didn't care about anyone else; I did care. However, I was so consumed with chasing beauty that I did not have time to adequately express my concern because, well, I was more concerned about what I looked like than helping anyone else.
The most destructive thing about beauty is this: it overwhelms your life and won't allow you to focus on anything else but its definition.
I've seen it time and time again. I had friends who dreamed big. Some wanted to be doctors. Some wanted to be athletes. Some wanted to save the world from AIDS. Some were definitely going places.
And then some threw away their dreams so they could measure up to the pictures in the magazines.
Today's challenge is different than most. Today I am not changing my actions. I am not diving into my mind and changing my thoughts and reactions. Today I am dreaming. I am dreaming of what I can do now that I am free from the chains of beauty. I am taking back those dreams I threw away long ago and making them mine.
I am dreaming big. I am allowing God to replace that drive for beauty with a drive for Him.
Beauty is not about you and it is not about me. It's about dreaming big. It's about not giving up and giving in to a mediocre dream. If you believe it can happen, watch for it to happen.
Beauty is about what we can do to change the world, one big dream at a time.
Verse: "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26)
Day Forty-One: Listen to Another Voice
9/20/2009
My definition of beauty used to be very different. Through the eyes of a child, I thought that everyone was beautiful. When I looked into the mirror, I did not sigh in defeat. The reflection was beautiful...until someone came along to tell me otherwise.
For most of us, our definition of beauty originated in the words of someone else. Someone, at some point in time, told us what it means to be beautiful...and we listened to them. We listened to the definition, and then we took it a step further.
We lived it.
Instead of blowing off their opinion, we took their meaning of beautiful to heart and ran with it. We ran with it through elementary school. We sprinted with it through high school. We drive with it when our lives cross the interstate into "adulthood". One person's words changed the way we not only think; it changed the way we live.
Who taught you what beautiful means? Did you learn it in the halls of middle school as all the girls vied for attention? Did you learn it from your family in the safety of your home? Did you learn from the billboard situated on the road you drive by everyday? Where did you learn it? Who's voice are you listening to? Why are you listening to it?
One more question: Does that voice speak truth?
In John 8:32 Jesus spells out truth in big, red letters: "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
Truth. In a world that says "truth is relative", what is Truth?
This question has been asked since ancient times. Before Jesus' death on the cross, Pilate put the question of our souls into words: "What is truth?" (John 18:38)
Pilate didn't get it. He didn't get that Truth stood right before his eyes. He didn't get that he was literally putting truth to death. He understand that the words Jesus spoke before he even voiced his question were truth. No, Pilate didn't get it.
Do you get it? Do I get it?
Sometimes.
Sometimes I do listen to Truth's voice. Sometimes I believe that I am perfectly made. Sometimes I believe that the mirror does not hold my identity within the glass.
But sometimes I don't . Sometimes I look at the cover of a magazine and listen to another's voice. Sometimes I let someone else's definition of truth negate mine.
Not today, though.
Today is a day to challenge the voice that has held prestige all these years. Today is the day you mute her voice in order to turn up the volume on Truth. Today is the day you search for a new definition of beauty and listen to a different voice.
Who's voice are you listening to today? I'm listening to a different one...one who speaks Truth.
Verse: "...In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this reason I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me." (John 8:37)- Jesus' response to our heart's question
For most of us, our definition of beauty originated in the words of someone else. Someone, at some point in time, told us what it means to be beautiful...and we listened to them. We listened to the definition, and then we took it a step further.
We lived it.
Instead of blowing off their opinion, we took their meaning of beautiful to heart and ran with it. We ran with it through elementary school. We sprinted with it through high school. We drive with it when our lives cross the interstate into "adulthood". One person's words changed the way we not only think; it changed the way we live.
Who taught you what beautiful means? Did you learn it in the halls of middle school as all the girls vied for attention? Did you learn it from your family in the safety of your home? Did you learn from the billboard situated on the road you drive by everyday? Where did you learn it? Who's voice are you listening to? Why are you listening to it?
One more question: Does that voice speak truth?
In John 8:32 Jesus spells out truth in big, red letters: "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
Truth. In a world that says "truth is relative", what is Truth?
This question has been asked since ancient times. Before Jesus' death on the cross, Pilate put the question of our souls into words: "What is truth?" (John 18:38)
Pilate didn't get it. He didn't get that Truth stood right before his eyes. He didn't get that he was literally putting truth to death. He understand that the words Jesus spoke before he even voiced his question were truth. No, Pilate didn't get it.
Do you get it? Do I get it?
Sometimes.
Sometimes I do listen to Truth's voice. Sometimes I believe that I am perfectly made. Sometimes I believe that the mirror does not hold my identity within the glass.
But sometimes I don't . Sometimes I look at the cover of a magazine and listen to another's voice. Sometimes I let someone else's definition of truth negate mine.
Not today, though.
Today is a day to challenge the voice that has held prestige all these years. Today is the day you mute her voice in order to turn up the volume on Truth. Today is the day you search for a new definition of beauty and listen to a different voice.
Who's voice are you listening to today? I'm listening to a different one...one who speaks Truth.
Verse: "...In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this reason I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me." (John 8:37)- Jesus' response to our heart's question
Day Forty: Look at Her Face
9/19/2009
I learned a lesson this week. An important, life-altering lesson that will change the way I look at women from now on.
I learned that even the youngest of us have a problem with "the once over".
As I walked down the halls of a local elementary school, I noticed that every girl I passed looked me up and down. Now, this usually would not be such a shock to me. I am a girl, after all. I know how we roll.
But to start out so young? To "body check" in third grade?
That's just wrong.
When the definition of beauty is so constricted that elementary school girls know to compare themselves to every living, breathing, walking female...the definition needs to change. Comparing is not only destructive; it's demeaning. With our eyes we approve or condemn every girl we meet.
You don't even have to say anything; your eyes say it all.
So today, why don't we challenge ourselves to stop "body checking" (as girls who have been in treatment now know to call it)? Why don't we learn about the person instead of judging the size of their hips? Why don't we throw that definition of beauty to the wayside and instead accept every girl, no matter what she looks like?
Today why don't we look at someone's face instead of their body?
I promise, they will appreciate it more than you can even imagine; after all, no one wants to be executed by your eyes.
Verse: "...The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)
True Pact #3 (from True Campaign): "Stop analyzing and critiquing other peoples' physical appearance."
I learned that even the youngest of us have a problem with "the once over".
As I walked down the halls of a local elementary school, I noticed that every girl I passed looked me up and down. Now, this usually would not be such a shock to me. I am a girl, after all. I know how we roll.
But to start out so young? To "body check" in third grade?
That's just wrong.
When the definition of beauty is so constricted that elementary school girls know to compare themselves to every living, breathing, walking female...the definition needs to change. Comparing is not only destructive; it's demeaning. With our eyes we approve or condemn every girl we meet.
You don't even have to say anything; your eyes say it all.
So today, why don't we challenge ourselves to stop "body checking" (as girls who have been in treatment now know to call it)? Why don't we learn about the person instead of judging the size of their hips? Why don't we throw that definition of beauty to the wayside and instead accept every girl, no matter what she looks like?
Today why don't we look at someone's face instead of their body?
I promise, they will appreciate it more than you can even imagine; after all, no one wants to be executed by your eyes.
Verse: "...The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)
True Pact #3 (from True Campaign): "Stop analyzing and critiquing other peoples' physical appearance."
Day Thirty-Nine: Know that You are Loved
9/18/2009
What makes a little girl beautiful? To get to the true definition of beauty, we have to start off where we left: childhood.
I am fascinated with the beauty of children. There is just something about them that shines. They don't meet the "expectations" of the culture. They don't always have perfect skin, perfect hair, or the perfect body; however, no one could deny that the face of a child is beautiful.
Why?
I"m convinced it's love. When a little girl knows that she is love, she exudes confidence and beauty. She's comfortable in her own skin. In fact, she could not even imagine being someone else. She is true to herself because she knows that no matter what, there will always be someone who loves her.
Have you ever seen a little girl who doesn't believe she is loved? She's the girl whose eyes are downcast. She's the girl who stands at a distance. She's the one who doesn't believe that she is beautiful.
To be loved is more than a gushy feeling; to be loved means to be beautiful. Love IS beautiful. It transforms. It builds up. It gives confidence to face life. When love is absent, beauty is absent.
Christ's love for us is what makes us beautiful; it's what makes us shine. It is the transforming power that creates beauty...even when we don't look like the pictures in the magazines.
Most of us, though, don't live as though we are loved. We don't believe that a love like that exists.
Let me tell you, it does exist.
I used to think the same way you probably think now. I used to believe that no one loved me. They may have said it, but I didn't believe it. The "love of Jesus" was preached at me time and time again, but I reacted with disdain. Yes, the idea sounded good. The concept was encouraging. But was it truth?
I was not convinced.
Yes, I knew God so loved the world. I knew that He sent His son to die in my place. But that wasn't enough. I wanted to know that He loved me. I didn't want to be one of many...I wanted to be the one. The one whom He loved. The one whom He saw. The one whom He sacrificed His son.
I didn't want the "whole world" kind of love; I just wanted to know that He loved me.
It took a long time, but here is what I found out: He loves me. Not because I am one of many, but because I am me. He made me. He sees me. He knows me by name. He sent His son to die for me, despite my past (in spite of my past, actually!).
And He loves you. Not because you are included in the census of the world. Not because you just "happen" to be here. Not because He has to love you.
He loves you because He made you, and He would love you if you were the only person walking this earth.
That is truth. That is transforming. That is beautiful.
Today's challenge is to search for truth. Search for love because without it, beauty is only a replica that will fade. True beauty is not physical perfection; it is knowing that you are completely and divinely loved by the One who created the world.
Verse: "...May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." (John 17:23)
I am fascinated with the beauty of children. There is just something about them that shines. They don't meet the "expectations" of the culture. They don't always have perfect skin, perfect hair, or the perfect body; however, no one could deny that the face of a child is beautiful.
Why?
I"m convinced it's love. When a little girl knows that she is love, she exudes confidence and beauty. She's comfortable in her own skin. In fact, she could not even imagine being someone else. She is true to herself because she knows that no matter what, there will always be someone who loves her.
Have you ever seen a little girl who doesn't believe she is loved? She's the girl whose eyes are downcast. She's the girl who stands at a distance. She's the one who doesn't believe that she is beautiful.
To be loved is more than a gushy feeling; to be loved means to be beautiful. Love IS beautiful. It transforms. It builds up. It gives confidence to face life. When love is absent, beauty is absent.
Christ's love for us is what makes us beautiful; it's what makes us shine. It is the transforming power that creates beauty...even when we don't look like the pictures in the magazines.
Most of us, though, don't live as though we are loved. We don't believe that a love like that exists.
Let me tell you, it does exist.
I used to think the same way you probably think now. I used to believe that no one loved me. They may have said it, but I didn't believe it. The "love of Jesus" was preached at me time and time again, but I reacted with disdain. Yes, the idea sounded good. The concept was encouraging. But was it truth?
I was not convinced.
Yes, I knew God so loved the world. I knew that He sent His son to die in my place. But that wasn't enough. I wanted to know that He loved me. I didn't want to be one of many...I wanted to be the one. The one whom He loved. The one whom He saw. The one whom He sacrificed His son.
I didn't want the "whole world" kind of love; I just wanted to know that He loved me.
It took a long time, but here is what I found out: He loves me. Not because I am one of many, but because I am me. He made me. He sees me. He knows me by name. He sent His son to die for me, despite my past (in spite of my past, actually!).
And He loves you. Not because you are included in the census of the world. Not because you just "happen" to be here. Not because He has to love you.
He loves you because He made you, and He would love you if you were the only person walking this earth.
That is truth. That is transforming. That is beautiful.
Today's challenge is to search for truth. Search for love because without it, beauty is only a replica that will fade. True beauty is not physical perfection; it is knowing that you are completely and divinely loved by the One who created the world.
Verse: "...May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." (John 17:23)
Day Thirty-Eight: Get Rid of the Green Monster
9/17/2009
There are days I am a little green in color. There are days my face resembles Kermit the Frog more than the picture you see of me. There are days my life is filled to the brink with a lovely little word called envy.
Ever heard of it? Ever experienced it? If you haven't, let me know because I want some lessons from you!
The truth is, envy goes hand in hand with our beauty culture. The billboard of the new gorgeous (photoshopped!) model is supposed to make us jealous...that's how they get us to buy the product. If they displayed pictures of normal women like you and me, would you be as likely to buy the product?
Probably not, for there would most likely be no competition there. We buy what they are selling because we feel threatened if we don't look like the model.
But let's push the beauty industry aside for a moment and focus on the day-to-day "stuff". Is there any envy there? Are you envious of the way a friend looks? Are you envious of another women's life, wishing that you could "walk in her shoes"? Is envy seeping out the corners of your plastered on smile?
Envy seeps out of mine.
There are times (many times, in fact) that I give in to the envy. I entertain the thought. I let the desire to look like someone else (or be someone else) linger. I let envy take over, and my life is quickly affected.
Envy is not a slow parasite. It is immediate. It is brutal. It is destructive.
And it is not something to be messed with.
My challenge for myself today is this: meet envy with love. Instead of giving into the feelings of "I'm not good enough because I don't look like her", I will give into love. Instead of seething with jealousy and letting it destroy my day, I will be thankful for the beauty (and success) of someone else. Instead of praying and asking "Why not me, God?", I will say a prayer thanking Him for that person.
Love destroys envy.
Don't let envy ruin your day today. Maybe you won't be envious of another woman's looks today. Maybe it is something else that passes along the envy bug. Maybe you are jealous of someone else's success. Maybe you want the attention someone else seems to constantly receive. Maybe you want the car, the house, the clothes, the income of that one lady. Maybe you're like me, and you seem to want everything you don't have!
When envy sparks today, extinguish it with love. Don't let it linger. Don't fan the flame. Protect yourself (and your life) by showering a little love on that person today.
Verse: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
I would love to hear your thoughts on envy today. If you feel so compelled, leave a comment and share how you combat envy. We could all use some help in this area!
Ever heard of it? Ever experienced it? If you haven't, let me know because I want some lessons from you!
The truth is, envy goes hand in hand with our beauty culture. The billboard of the new gorgeous (photoshopped!) model is supposed to make us jealous...that's how they get us to buy the product. If they displayed pictures of normal women like you and me, would you be as likely to buy the product?
Probably not, for there would most likely be no competition there. We buy what they are selling because we feel threatened if we don't look like the model.
But let's push the beauty industry aside for a moment and focus on the day-to-day "stuff". Is there any envy there? Are you envious of the way a friend looks? Are you envious of another women's life, wishing that you could "walk in her shoes"? Is envy seeping out the corners of your plastered on smile?
Envy seeps out of mine.
There are times (many times, in fact) that I give in to the envy. I entertain the thought. I let the desire to look like someone else (or be someone else) linger. I let envy take over, and my life is quickly affected.
Envy is not a slow parasite. It is immediate. It is brutal. It is destructive.
And it is not something to be messed with.
My challenge for myself today is this: meet envy with love. Instead of giving into the feelings of "I'm not good enough because I don't look like her", I will give into love. Instead of seething with jealousy and letting it destroy my day, I will be thankful for the beauty (and success) of someone else. Instead of praying and asking "Why not me, God?", I will say a prayer thanking Him for that person.
Love destroys envy.
Don't let envy ruin your day today. Maybe you won't be envious of another woman's looks today. Maybe it is something else that passes along the envy bug. Maybe you are jealous of someone else's success. Maybe you want the attention someone else seems to constantly receive. Maybe you want the car, the house, the clothes, the income of that one lady. Maybe you're like me, and you seem to want everything you don't have!
When envy sparks today, extinguish it with love. Don't let it linger. Don't fan the flame. Protect yourself (and your life) by showering a little love on that person today.
Verse: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
I would love to hear your thoughts on envy today. If you feel so compelled, leave a comment and share how you combat envy. We could all use some help in this area!
Day Thirty-Seven: Be Broken
9/16/2009
Let's get real for a moment. Let's get raw. There is something heavy on my heart today, and God is not going to let me ignore it.
There is a big, white elephant in the room from my computer to yours that needs to be exposed. It goes by the name of Broken.
But we'll get to that in a moment. Right now I want to bare my thoughts to you. Right now I want to let you know that I'm just like you. I'm broken. I doubt. I worry. I lose my temper. And I compare.
Oh- do I compare.
I am not the perfect pin-up "True Beauty" girl. Not even close. I have my share of insecurities. I have my doubts about who God is and what He can do. I, too, live under beauty's afflicting gaze.
I am, after all, human.
One of my constant struggles is the beauty factor. I am thankful-oh so thankful-that I no longer struggle with my eating disorder. I am thankful that God has done some lengthy and deep work on my thought processes. I am thankful for the revelation I've already been given.
But the beauty.
That is where my brokenness lies. That is where my pain remains. Talk about your struggling with wanting to be beautiful, and my tears will involuntary well up with yours.
Girl, I'm so right there with you.
Beauty is where all my desires gather. It's one word, but it means so much. It's my hopes, my dreams, my desires, my joys, my peace...and my insecurities. Beauty is the most freeing thing in my life, and beauty is the most devastating thing in my life.
Beauty is my burden.
I have met people who dismiss the importance of beauty in my life, saying I shouldn't worry about something so trivial and "ungodly". And maybe they're right. Ok- I know they are right. I typically don't let beauty have a hold anymore. I like to say that I am free from that shackle.
But the beauty.
Beauty is my brokenness. Every issue I have tends to go back to it. It is the burden I carry with me everyday. I pack the bag in the morning, throw it in the car, take it to work, take it home, and repeat the process again when the sun rises. It's the weight that drags me down, and it's the reason I run to Him.
I didn't always take my bag to God. I didn't trust Him with it. After all, He was the one who made me this way. He was the one who inflicted me with these circumstances. Why should I give it to Him when He could step in and make it all better? Why should I run to someone who just doesn't care?
I was one broken, worn-out, hopeless girl.
But the cross.
The cross is where it all changes. The cross is where the brokenness can lie bare, exposing the harsh realities of doubt and pain. The cross is where the broken get made whole.
I wonder, do we really know the power of the cross? Do we really know?
On the cross, Jesus held your brokenness. Not just your sin- your brokenness. Imagine, for a moment, the thing that causes you the most pain. The unbearable. The unmentionable. The inconceivable.
Now picture Jesus. Sweet, precious, sin-less Jesus, carrying the cross. Picture the nails piercing His skin. Picture the thorns pressing in on Him. Picture the physical pain of hanging on that cross.
That physical pain was nothing in comparison with what's to come.
On the cross, Jesus held not only your sins...He also held your burdens, your brokenness. The thing that broke your heart didn't just break yours...it broke His. Imagine your pain times every person who has ever lived on this earth. Now imagine that weight on Jesus.
He took your pain. He was broken so you could be made whole. He felt the crush so you could feel the freedom. He was burdened so you could live.
But the cross.
God doesn't expect you to ignore that pain. He doesn't intend for you to pretend not to be broken. He wants you to come to Him, broken and doubtful, angry and burdened. He wants you to come to Him with the broken pieces so you can be put back together again. And when you become broken once more, He wants you to come back.
Come back broken. Come back battered. Come back bound.
He knows where you are coming from. He's felt the pain- your pain. He knows it hurts more than words can express.
But He's overcome.
And He's holding out His hands so your broken pieces can fit back together into the big, beautiful picture of what it means to be loved.
*I pray that God meets you in your brokenness today. The challenge is to turn to Him, broken and grieving. We all come with different burdens. Some of us have experienced unimaginable loss. Some of us struggle with that one thing. Some of us are just beaten down, heartbroken, and worn out. Whatever your "broken" is today, I pray that God will transform it into something beautiful. Something new. Something lasting. Something whole. A beautiful woman is not one who has it all together; a beautiful woman is one who says "Yes, I'm broken. But the cross." Be broken today and experience the true power of the cross.*
There is a big, white elephant in the room from my computer to yours that needs to be exposed. It goes by the name of Broken.
But we'll get to that in a moment. Right now I want to bare my thoughts to you. Right now I want to let you know that I'm just like you. I'm broken. I doubt. I worry. I lose my temper. And I compare.
Oh- do I compare.
I am not the perfect pin-up "True Beauty" girl. Not even close. I have my share of insecurities. I have my doubts about who God is and what He can do. I, too, live under beauty's afflicting gaze.
I am, after all, human.
One of my constant struggles is the beauty factor. I am thankful-oh so thankful-that I no longer struggle with my eating disorder. I am thankful that God has done some lengthy and deep work on my thought processes. I am thankful for the revelation I've already been given.
But the beauty.
That is where my brokenness lies. That is where my pain remains. Talk about your struggling with wanting to be beautiful, and my tears will involuntary well up with yours.
Girl, I'm so right there with you.
Beauty is where all my desires gather. It's one word, but it means so much. It's my hopes, my dreams, my desires, my joys, my peace...and my insecurities. Beauty is the most freeing thing in my life, and beauty is the most devastating thing in my life.
Beauty is my burden.
I have met people who dismiss the importance of beauty in my life, saying I shouldn't worry about something so trivial and "ungodly". And maybe they're right. Ok- I know they are right. I typically don't let beauty have a hold anymore. I like to say that I am free from that shackle.
But the beauty.
Beauty is my brokenness. Every issue I have tends to go back to it. It is the burden I carry with me everyday. I pack the bag in the morning, throw it in the car, take it to work, take it home, and repeat the process again when the sun rises. It's the weight that drags me down, and it's the reason I run to Him.
I didn't always take my bag to God. I didn't trust Him with it. After all, He was the one who made me this way. He was the one who inflicted me with these circumstances. Why should I give it to Him when He could step in and make it all better? Why should I run to someone who just doesn't care?
I was one broken, worn-out, hopeless girl.
But the cross.
The cross is where it all changes. The cross is where the brokenness can lie bare, exposing the harsh realities of doubt and pain. The cross is where the broken get made whole.
I wonder, do we really know the power of the cross? Do we really know?
On the cross, Jesus held your brokenness. Not just your sin- your brokenness. Imagine, for a moment, the thing that causes you the most pain. The unbearable. The unmentionable. The inconceivable.
Now picture Jesus. Sweet, precious, sin-less Jesus, carrying the cross. Picture the nails piercing His skin. Picture the thorns pressing in on Him. Picture the physical pain of hanging on that cross.
That physical pain was nothing in comparison with what's to come.
On the cross, Jesus held not only your sins...He also held your burdens, your brokenness. The thing that broke your heart didn't just break yours...it broke His. Imagine your pain times every person who has ever lived on this earth. Now imagine that weight on Jesus.
He took your pain. He was broken so you could be made whole. He felt the crush so you could feel the freedom. He was burdened so you could live.
But the cross.
God doesn't expect you to ignore that pain. He doesn't intend for you to pretend not to be broken. He wants you to come to Him, broken and doubtful, angry and burdened. He wants you to come to Him with the broken pieces so you can be put back together again. And when you become broken once more, He wants you to come back.
Come back broken. Come back battered. Come back bound.
He knows where you are coming from. He's felt the pain- your pain. He knows it hurts more than words can express.
But He's overcome.
And He's holding out His hands so your broken pieces can fit back together into the big, beautiful picture of what it means to be loved.
*I pray that God meets you in your brokenness today. The challenge is to turn to Him, broken and grieving. We all come with different burdens. Some of us have experienced unimaginable loss. Some of us struggle with that one thing. Some of us are just beaten down, heartbroken, and worn out. Whatever your "broken" is today, I pray that God will transform it into something beautiful. Something new. Something lasting. Something whole. A beautiful woman is not one who has it all together; a beautiful woman is one who says "Yes, I'm broken. But the cross." Be broken today and experience the true power of the cross.*
Day Thirty-Six: Beauty is Unchanging
9/15/2009
How do you determine beauty? Is it a "once beautiful, always beautiful" idea, or is it a moment-by-moment quality? When you look at the trees around you (ok- you have to do this somewhere not in Corpus!), do the golden fall leaves represent beauty in your eyes? What about in the winter, when the leaves have fallen and the trunk remains standing amidst an an ocean of snow? Is that tree still beautiful?
In my eyes, nature is beautiful, no matter what. There is something captivating about sitting back and watching nature unfold. Every stage is beautiful in its own way. In the spring, beauty shines through the flowers blooming and the baby animals prancing. In the summer, beauty sits on the waves of the ocean and the laughter of children free from school. In the fall, beauty resides in the pumpkin pie smells, the colored leaves, and the cool winds. In the winter, beauty spreads across the untouched snow and the cozy blanket at your feet.
There is beauty in every season.
Beauty, in my eyes, hasn't always been unchanging. Rather, beauty was dead-bolted to a certain image or place in my life. When people would tell me that God created me beautiful, I would think, "Yeah, ok. Maybe when He created me, but a lot has changed since then!" I thought there was this "perfect me" that God had created and until I got back to that size and shape (whatever is was!), God would not see me as beautiful.
I thought He would see me as just "ok".
I walked around with this idea in my mind for a long time. I thought God had created me with this "perfect" body that had to eat this "perfect" way, and until I got to that place of perfection in His eyes, I would not be beautiful.
The problem was- I had no idea how God had created me. Where was the one place He saw me as beautiful? How would I know when I got there? How would I know if I was close? Would I go my whole life just missing that place of beauty? The questions taunted me. I walked around feeling like I would never measure up, like God would never look at me and call me "beautiful".
Here's what I've learned: beauty is unchanging. There is no place of "beauty". God did not create you with this one shot, hit-or-miss type of beauty. He created you beautiful. Period. As in any size, any weight, bare face or made up face. When He looks at you, He sees beauty. Total beauty. Captivating beauty. Unchanging beauty.
Beauty is not a formula. If you lose this many pounds and go to the gym this many times, you won't be any more beautiful than you were that many pounds ago. Your weight can go up and down. Your face can go with or without make-up. The size of your pants can expand or shrink. This fact remains true no matter what: You are beautiful. Whether you think you need to lose weight or not: You are beautiful. Whether you see beauty in the mirror or not: You are beautiful. Whether you eat healthy or not: You are beautiful.
Beauty is unchanging. God's words are unchanging (see James 1:17). Beauty is not contingent on a place of perfection. God created you beautiful; therefore, you are beautiful.
No matter what.
Today's challenge is different than most. Today I challenge you (and me!) to rest in the fact that you are beautiful. It doesn't matter what other people may say. It doesn't matter that you don't meet society's definition of beauty. It doesn't matter if you are 100 pounds overweight or 10 pounds underweight. You are beautiful.
Rest in that because it's the truth.
Verse: "How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!" (Song of Songs 1:15a)
In my eyes, nature is beautiful, no matter what. There is something captivating about sitting back and watching nature unfold. Every stage is beautiful in its own way. In the spring, beauty shines through the flowers blooming and the baby animals prancing. In the summer, beauty sits on the waves of the ocean and the laughter of children free from school. In the fall, beauty resides in the pumpkin pie smells, the colored leaves, and the cool winds. In the winter, beauty spreads across the untouched snow and the cozy blanket at your feet.
There is beauty in every season.
Beauty, in my eyes, hasn't always been unchanging. Rather, beauty was dead-bolted to a certain image or place in my life. When people would tell me that God created me beautiful, I would think, "Yeah, ok. Maybe when He created me, but a lot has changed since then!" I thought there was this "perfect me" that God had created and until I got back to that size and shape (whatever is was!), God would not see me as beautiful.
I thought He would see me as just "ok".
I walked around with this idea in my mind for a long time. I thought God had created me with this "perfect" body that had to eat this "perfect" way, and until I got to that place of perfection in His eyes, I would not be beautiful.
The problem was- I had no idea how God had created me. Where was the one place He saw me as beautiful? How would I know when I got there? How would I know if I was close? Would I go my whole life just missing that place of beauty? The questions taunted me. I walked around feeling like I would never measure up, like God would never look at me and call me "beautiful".
Here's what I've learned: beauty is unchanging. There is no place of "beauty". God did not create you with this one shot, hit-or-miss type of beauty. He created you beautiful. Period. As in any size, any weight, bare face or made up face. When He looks at you, He sees beauty. Total beauty. Captivating beauty. Unchanging beauty.
Beauty is not a formula. If you lose this many pounds and go to the gym this many times, you won't be any more beautiful than you were that many pounds ago. Your weight can go up and down. Your face can go with or without make-up. The size of your pants can expand or shrink. This fact remains true no matter what: You are beautiful. Whether you think you need to lose weight or not: You are beautiful. Whether you see beauty in the mirror or not: You are beautiful. Whether you eat healthy or not: You are beautiful.
Beauty is unchanging. God's words are unchanging (see James 1:17). Beauty is not contingent on a place of perfection. God created you beautiful; therefore, you are beautiful.
No matter what.
Today's challenge is different than most. Today I challenge you (and me!) to rest in the fact that you are beautiful. It doesn't matter what other people may say. It doesn't matter that you don't meet society's definition of beauty. It doesn't matter if you are 100 pounds overweight or 10 pounds underweight. You are beautiful.
Rest in that because it's the truth.
Verse: "How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!" (Song of Songs 1:15a)
Day Thirty-Five: Leave High School Behind
9/14/2009
I remember high school like it was yesterday. While I did have quite the sporadic high school experience, I was present for the first two years of that venture (physically, at least).
What I remember is not a bunch of fairy-tale Homecomings, T.V. relationships, or perfect classroom experiences. I did not wake up looking forward to going to school. In fact, if I were to be completely honest, I hated it. Despite the fact that most of my teachers loved me.
Here's the thing: high school was not about the grades for me (although it seemed like it those nights I stayed up until all hours writing the "perfect" paper). It was about making sure that I "fit in". It was about pleasing the expectations instead living the way I was created to live.
And there were some expectations that were just impossible to stand up to. Like making straight A's (not just A's, mind you, but 100's). Or looking like the "popular girls": thin, toned, and make-up that had the same effects as photoshop. Or finding time to interact with friends when all the time I did have went to schoolwork. Or striving to please all the negative voices of the few "mean girls" that every school has.
The expectations wore me down. The comments from some girls destroyed me. The perfectionism in my own head (in addition to the high expectations of an AP curriculum) beat me to the ground.
I was a living, breathing dead girl walking around. Definitely NOT the most exciting four years of my life.
I did learn though. I learned that there will always be one girl that will never be happy with you. There will always be expectations that you just can't physically measure up to. There will always be 95's waiting to latch onto your papers. There will always be those "perfect" girls with the "perfect" lives...who aren't so perfect underneath.
The thing about high school is it doesn't end at graduation. The dynamics follow you through life, giving you the opportunity each day to make a choice. Will you give into the dynamics, or will you choose to live the way you were destined to live, free from the opinions of a group that determines what's "best"?
I don't walk the halls of a school anymore, but I am still constantly met with the expectations. I still look at those girls and feel as if I should look like them. I still remember those expectations and wonder if I should be living by them. I still recall the comments made about me long ago and wonder if what she said was really truth.
It wasn't truth then, and it is not truth now. I know that, but I have to choose to LIVE that.
The challenge today is to stop living in the dynamics of high school. You may be 50, you may be 19. You may be well out of those halls, or you may be fresh out of the arena. Wherever you are in life, change the dynamics. As women we tend to hang onto everything we learned in those hallways. We tend to continue following the expectations, pairing off into groups, and comparing ourselves to one another.
Let's change that. Today I'm leaving the halls of high school behind because I know that I was created to live for Someone else's expectations.
Verse: "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:22-24)
What I remember is not a bunch of fairy-tale Homecomings, T.V. relationships, or perfect classroom experiences. I did not wake up looking forward to going to school. In fact, if I were to be completely honest, I hated it. Despite the fact that most of my teachers loved me.
Here's the thing: high school was not about the grades for me (although it seemed like it those nights I stayed up until all hours writing the "perfect" paper). It was about making sure that I "fit in". It was about pleasing the expectations instead living the way I was created to live.
And there were some expectations that were just impossible to stand up to. Like making straight A's (not just A's, mind you, but 100's). Or looking like the "popular girls": thin, toned, and make-up that had the same effects as photoshop. Or finding time to interact with friends when all the time I did have went to schoolwork. Or striving to please all the negative voices of the few "mean girls" that every school has.
The expectations wore me down. The comments from some girls destroyed me. The perfectionism in my own head (in addition to the high expectations of an AP curriculum) beat me to the ground.
I was a living, breathing dead girl walking around. Definitely NOT the most exciting four years of my life.
I did learn though. I learned that there will always be one girl that will never be happy with you. There will always be expectations that you just can't physically measure up to. There will always be 95's waiting to latch onto your papers. There will always be those "perfect" girls with the "perfect" lives...who aren't so perfect underneath.
The thing about high school is it doesn't end at graduation. The dynamics follow you through life, giving you the opportunity each day to make a choice. Will you give into the dynamics, or will you choose to live the way you were destined to live, free from the opinions of a group that determines what's "best"?
I don't walk the halls of a school anymore, but I am still constantly met with the expectations. I still look at those girls and feel as if I should look like them. I still remember those expectations and wonder if I should be living by them. I still recall the comments made about me long ago and wonder if what she said was really truth.
It wasn't truth then, and it is not truth now. I know that, but I have to choose to LIVE that.
The challenge today is to stop living in the dynamics of high school. You may be 50, you may be 19. You may be well out of those halls, or you may be fresh out of the arena. Wherever you are in life, change the dynamics. As women we tend to hang onto everything we learned in those hallways. We tend to continue following the expectations, pairing off into groups, and comparing ourselves to one another.
Let's change that. Today I'm leaving the halls of high school behind because I know that I was created to live for Someone else's expectations.
Verse: "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:22-24)
Day Thirty-Four: Stop Chasing "Beautiful"
9/13/2009
It's that time of year again.
Every year around this time, People magazine publishes their annual World's Most Beautiful People edition. The sales skyrocket as women and men alike grab the magazines off the shelves to be "in" on what (and who) is beautiful this year. Every year the list changes. Every year contenders are dropped down (or off) the list in order to make room for the "more beautiful". Every year we watch beauty being replaced by beauty.
And every year we buy it.
We buy the lie that beauty is constantly changing. We buy into the lie that beauty is a "fad". We believe that we are only beautiful when we look like People Magazine's #1 Most Beautiful. We change our bodies to meet the current definition. We change our looks to match the styles. We change our lives to match the lives of those around us.
Then the next year rolls around, and we change again.
Why the constant changing? Why do we always seem to chase the newest definition of beauty? Why do we conform to the standards of the Most Beautiful?
I don't know why you do it, but I know why I do: I like to fit in. I like to be liked. I don't want to stand out. I don't want to be on the World's Most Ugly list. So I change, compromise, and compete. I get to the top of the list...and then I drop off. Never to be seen again.
I used to think I was the only one who felt this pressure to fit in with the crowd. I thought I was the only one who thought fitting into the size of beauty would satisfy me. Then I met other girls, and I knew I wasn't alone. I knew that other girls felt this pressure. I knew that other women constantly chased the new definition of beauty. What I didn't know is this: our full-on sprint after beauty is not a new phenomenon.
It's an old one. And when I say old, I mean old. As in Bible times. As in Old Testament old.
I found myself today in the middle of Ezekiel 16, and let me tell you- I would have been happy not to have found myself there. In this chapter, God is revealing the sin of Jerusalem to Ezekiel. Idols are common. Prostitution is common. Beauty is common.
It sounded like much of the Israelite's history until I came to these verses that hit much too close to home:
"...You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign Lord. But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute...At the head of every street you built your lofty shrines and degraded your beauty..." (Ezekiel 16: 13-15, 25)
That's not all. Here's the real clencher:
"You not only walked in their ways and copied their destestable practices, but in all your ways you soon became more depraved than they." (Ezekiel 16:47)
Ouch.
Have you ever used your beauty to fit in? Has your beauty ever led you to spiritual prostitution? Have you sold your image in order to worship the idols?
If you have, you're not alone. In fact, you are in the company of thousands of Israelites.
Here's the good news, though: God is in the business of restoring. He is in the business of buying back what we have sold off. He is in the business of taking back beauty.
Today's challenge is to stop chasing after the beauty of this world. Stop building the shrines. Stop blending into the customs. Stop living lives of depravity.
I have seen the effects of this world's beauty on my life, and I do not want to ever go there again. And the only way I know to prevent that is to change my pursuits.
When you stop pursuing the men, you cease to be a prostitute. In the same way, when you stop pursuing "beauty", you cease being a "depraved" child and instead return to being "perfect" in beauty.
Despite what the People magazine issue says this year.
Verse: "Turn my eyes from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word." (Psalm 119:37)
Every year around this time, People magazine publishes their annual World's Most Beautiful People edition. The sales skyrocket as women and men alike grab the magazines off the shelves to be "in" on what (and who) is beautiful this year. Every year the list changes. Every year contenders are dropped down (or off) the list in order to make room for the "more beautiful". Every year we watch beauty being replaced by beauty.
And every year we buy it.
We buy the lie that beauty is constantly changing. We buy into the lie that beauty is a "fad". We believe that we are only beautiful when we look like People Magazine's #1 Most Beautiful. We change our bodies to meet the current definition. We change our looks to match the styles. We change our lives to match the lives of those around us.
Then the next year rolls around, and we change again.
Why the constant changing? Why do we always seem to chase the newest definition of beauty? Why do we conform to the standards of the Most Beautiful?
I don't know why you do it, but I know why I do: I like to fit in. I like to be liked. I don't want to stand out. I don't want to be on the World's Most Ugly list. So I change, compromise, and compete. I get to the top of the list...and then I drop off. Never to be seen again.
I used to think I was the only one who felt this pressure to fit in with the crowd. I thought I was the only one who thought fitting into the size of beauty would satisfy me. Then I met other girls, and I knew I wasn't alone. I knew that other girls felt this pressure. I knew that other women constantly chased the new definition of beauty. What I didn't know is this: our full-on sprint after beauty is not a new phenomenon.
It's an old one. And when I say old, I mean old. As in Bible times. As in Old Testament old.
I found myself today in the middle of Ezekiel 16, and let me tell you- I would have been happy not to have found myself there. In this chapter, God is revealing the sin of Jerusalem to Ezekiel. Idols are common. Prostitution is common. Beauty is common.
It sounded like much of the Israelite's history until I came to these verses that hit much too close to home:
"...You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign Lord. But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute...At the head of every street you built your lofty shrines and degraded your beauty..." (Ezekiel 16: 13-15, 25)
That's not all. Here's the real clencher:
"You not only walked in their ways and copied their destestable practices, but in all your ways you soon became more depraved than they." (Ezekiel 16:47)
Ouch.
Have you ever used your beauty to fit in? Has your beauty ever led you to spiritual prostitution? Have you sold your image in order to worship the idols?
If you have, you're not alone. In fact, you are in the company of thousands of Israelites.
Here's the good news, though: God is in the business of restoring. He is in the business of buying back what we have sold off. He is in the business of taking back beauty.
Today's challenge is to stop chasing after the beauty of this world. Stop building the shrines. Stop blending into the customs. Stop living lives of depravity.
I have seen the effects of this world's beauty on my life, and I do not want to ever go there again. And the only way I know to prevent that is to change my pursuits.
When you stop pursuing the men, you cease to be a prostitute. In the same way, when you stop pursuing "beauty", you cease being a "depraved" child and instead return to being "perfect" in beauty.
Despite what the People magazine issue says this year.
Verse: "Turn my eyes from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word." (Psalm 119:37)
Day Thirty-Three: Accept Yourself
9/12/2009
Do you ever feel like God messed up somehow when He made you? Like He was in the middle of painting a beautiful picture, but then accidently spilled the can of paint on the canvas, making a huge mess?
I do.
Sometimes I complain. Sometimes I ask God why He went ahead and hung up the painting that should have been thrown in the trash. Sometimes I tell Him that no one will ever be interested in buying the painting, or even admiring it for that matter. And what does He tell me in response?
Abstract is in.
The lines do not have to be perfect to be beautiful. Blobs of paint can fill the canvas, and the painting can still have tremendous value. Chaotic paintings are hung on display all over museums just as often as perfect, pristine 18th century paintings. Colors don't have to match. Shapes don't have to be congruent. The canvas can be blank with one single dot in the middle, or the canvas can be dripping with every color of the rainbow.
It doesn't have to make sense to be beautiful.
I'm sure the painters behind the abstract paintings place great value on their work. When they look at the mass of color, they see perfection. It is their creation, after all. Why would they keep something they hated? After all, they don't hold onto everything they paint. I'm sure there are some beginnings that get thrown into the trash.
They display the pieces they find beautiful, and they will never throw those pieces into the shiny, metal bin.
You are that piece today. At first glance, you may not see value in yourself. You may not like the reflection you see every morning you wake up. You may not be pleased with the personality that makes you unique. You may not like anything and everything about yourself.
But the painter adores you just the way you are. He made you unique. He proudly displays you in His gallery. As guests come to tour His house, He leads them directly to you, the abstract painting. He gushes over your unique qualities. He points out the colors. He shows them your perfection. He names your price and delights Himself when no one can match it.
You are unique. You are priceless. You are not a mess-up that somehow avoided the trash.
No, you have been given a place of distinction among the halls of the great painter. People from all around the world come to gaze upon your beauty. It's a beauty that is unmatched here on this earth...a beauty that can only be seen when the painting no longer resists being hung on the wall.
Today's challenge is to accept the way you have been made. Accept every stroke of paint that adorns your canvas. Accept the colors that shine from your surface. Accept the truth that radiates from the glass:
Abstract is in.
Verse: "Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is put a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, "What are you making?" Does your work say, "He has no hands"? Woe to him who says to his father, "What have you begotten?" or to his mother, "What have you brought to birth?"
This is what the LORD says-the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker: Concerning things to come, do you question me about my children, or give me orders about the work of my hands? It is I who made the earth and created mankind upon it..." (Isaiah 45:9-12a)
Day Thirty-Two: End the "Fat Talk"
9/10/2009
Fat Talk: referring to oneself as "fat" or "large"; discussion of body and weight in a negative manner.
I am amazed at how common fat talk is in everyday life. It's almost as if it is a right to passage in our society today. If you don't talk bad about your body, you are weird. If you do put down your body and appearance every five seconds, you are normal.
Hmm. And we wonder why we all have issues.
Today's challenge is a little bit different. Today I am challenging myself to step out and put an end to fat talk in my own life and in others'. Today I am joining forces with the amazing and inspiring Caitlin, the girl behind Operation Beautiful, to end these ugly comments that dominate the conversations of so many women. All you need to do today is sit back, get to know Caitlin, and find some post-it notes.
I promise, you're gonna need them.
I am amazed at how common fat talk is in everyday life. It's almost as if it is a right to passage in our society today. If you don't talk bad about your body, you are weird. If you do put down your body and appearance every five seconds, you are normal.
Hmm. And we wonder why we all have issues.
Today's challenge is a little bit different. Today I am challenging myself to step out and put an end to fat talk in my own life and in others'. Today I am joining forces with the amazing and inspiring Caitlin, the girl behind Operation Beautiful, to end these ugly comments that dominate the conversations of so many women. All you need to do today is sit back, get to know Caitlin, and find some post-it notes.
I promise, you're gonna need them.
Thanks for joining us today, Caitlin! So, what's the story behind Operation Beautiful? There has been such an overwhelming reaction to your site. Did you ever think the concept would catch on so quickly and become so popular?
Caitlin: I had no idea it would be this big. The whole concept started on the spur of the moment! One day at work I was inspired to write "You are beautiful" on a post it and stick it to a mirror in the bathroom. I took a picture and posted it on my personal food and fitness blog, www.HealthyTippingPoint.com. I asked my readers to participate and within a few days, my inbox was flooded with similar pictures. I knew right away I had something special on my hands and launched www.OperationBeautiful.com within two days of posting my first note. I began Operation Beautiful because I really believe that “Fat Talk” is detrimental to your personal happiness, your health, and your relationships. It’s a bad habit that we need to stop as society – I don’t want my future daughter to grow up thinking she’s fat just because she doesn’t look like an unattainable ideal in a magazine. I think that by posting notes, we’re spreading positive self-image. Also, I think the posters are really writing the notes to themselves, and it gives them a boost of confidence, too!
When was the moment you realized that Operation Beautiful was really making a difference?
Caitlin: Almost right away, I started to receive emails from women who had either posted a note, saw the website, or even found a note. So many of these notes showed me that a little post-it could have a tremendous impact on a person, whether they were just having a bad day, recovering from an eating disorder, going through cancer treatment, or just in need of a smile.
In your mission statement, you say that one of your biggest crusades is ending Fat Talk. Why? How has Fat Talk affected you personally?
Caitlin: I think, like all women, my friends and I Fat Talked to some degree. One day I realized that when I told myself I was fat or lazy, I actually began more likely to overeat dessert or skip workouts. If you lift yourself up, you are more likely to achieve your goals. Life is hard enough without constantly putting yourself down!
How do you guard yourself against "Fat Talk" throughout your day? Do you find that it comes naturally, or is it a challenge to stop the talk?
Caitlin: I do not Fat Talk any more because I made a conscious decision to stop Fat Talking, both externally and internally. Like any bad habit, you just need to decide you are going to stop. I think it helps to correct yourself outloud when you do it.
There are so many stories of encouragement on your site. What is it like to receive those emails and see how one change in your own life has affected so many other people? Does it inspire you to do more?
Caitlin: I feel like the luckiest blogger in the world because I get to read all these emails and look at those notes every morning. It truly makes me a nicer person!
I noticed on your blog, Healthy Tipping Point, that you are working on a book. What is that book about?
Caitlin: I am shopping around a book proposal about Operation Beautiful, but someone has to buy it first! :)
What are your future plans for Operation Beautiful?
Caitlin:Truly, I would just like as many people to find out about the Operation as possible! And I would love to find an Operation Beautiful note myself. :)
Thank you so much for your time, Caitlin. One last question before you go- If you could say one thing to any girl or woman out there struggling with the image in her mirror, what would you say to her?
Caitlin: You are enough... just the way you are.
Be sure to head over to Operation Beautiful to find out more about Caitlin and her effort to eliminate Fat Talk. Make today a day of change. Get those post-it notes, write a message of TRUTH, and stick them on mirrors, diet books, etc. Anywhere and everywhere women look to find beauty!
Remember: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY GOD MADE YOU.
Day Thirty-Two: Change Your Relationship with the Mirror
"Mirror, mirror on the wall; who's the fairest of them all?"
Do you remember the Disney movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? The first time I watched it, I was much younger than I am now. I vividly remember the scene with the mirror and the Queen (maybe because it was one of my favorites). When I was little, I did not fully grasp the meaning of the mirror. I did not grasp the danger of the question. In fact, I didn't understand the Queen's reaction to the mirror's answer until much recently.
Here's what went down in that castle tower: the Queen was looking for someone (or some thing, rather) to tell her that she was acceptable. Her pursuit to be the "fairest" in the land was actually a pursuit to be accepted. Only with a little bit of pride added to the mix.
Do you ever feel like the Queen? Wicked as she may have been, I find myself in her shoes more often than not. Every day I stand before the mirror, and every day the question rolls around in my mind.
Who's the fairest of them all?
I look to my mirror for the answer, and most of the time-like the Queen- I am reminded of somebody else. Someone who is prettier. Someone who is skinnier. Someone who is "fairer". There are moments I desperately plea that the answer would be me. There are moments I would give anything for the answer to be me. And then there are moments where-for a few seconds- the answer is me...until someone else comes along.
My friend, the mirror is a dangerous place to be seeking that approval.
If it's not telling you that you fall short of the standard, then it is telling you that -for a brief moment- you have surpassed the standard. And surpassing is just as destructive as falling short. Surpassing means you have found your acceptance in the eyes of the mirror, and now you move about your day with a thing called Pride.
You see, the moment I look to the mirror to find my acceptance and value is the moment my life just got a little messier. The mirror only gives you two option: Self-Loathing or Self-Loving. There is no truth. There is no balance. There are only two extremes that will wreck your life if you go there.
The mirror should not be your best friend. It should be that piece of glass on the wall that tells you whether or not you have a broccoli stuck in your teeth, and nothing more. It was never intended to give us the answer, for the answer may turn us into the witch that feeds the "fairest one" with the apple.
Yes- the mirror causes us to do some pretty nasty things.
There is a mirror, however, that does not lead to evil. There is a mirror that leads to truth. James describes that mirror in his letter to the church:
"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it- he will be blessed in what he does." (James 1:22-25)
Do you ever look in the mirror and forget the image five minutes later? I do; that's the reason I return to it so constantly. That's the reason you look for your image in every reflecting surface- windows, mirrors, blank T.V. screens...the list is endless. We constantly check our face to see if it has "changed" from five seconds ago.
What if we stopped checking our faces so much and started checking our hearts? What if we stopped turning to the mirror for our acceptance and instead looked into the Word that merges truth with reality? Would our lives be different?
Today's challenge is to break that close-knit relationship with the mirror. Be an acquaintance rather than a best friend. Be a passerby rather than a resident. Be Snow White rather than the witch...because we already have enough of the apples to go around.
Verse: "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12)
Do you remember the Disney movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? The first time I watched it, I was much younger than I am now. I vividly remember the scene with the mirror and the Queen (maybe because it was one of my favorites). When I was little, I did not fully grasp the meaning of the mirror. I did not grasp the danger of the question. In fact, I didn't understand the Queen's reaction to the mirror's answer until much recently.
Here's what went down in that castle tower: the Queen was looking for someone (or some thing, rather) to tell her that she was acceptable. Her pursuit to be the "fairest" in the land was actually a pursuit to be accepted. Only with a little bit of pride added to the mix.
Do you ever feel like the Queen? Wicked as she may have been, I find myself in her shoes more often than not. Every day I stand before the mirror, and every day the question rolls around in my mind.
Who's the fairest of them all?
I look to my mirror for the answer, and most of the time-like the Queen- I am reminded of somebody else. Someone who is prettier. Someone who is skinnier. Someone who is "fairer". There are moments I desperately plea that the answer would be me. There are moments I would give anything for the answer to be me. And then there are moments where-for a few seconds- the answer is me...until someone else comes along.
My friend, the mirror is a dangerous place to be seeking that approval.
If it's not telling you that you fall short of the standard, then it is telling you that -for a brief moment- you have surpassed the standard. And surpassing is just as destructive as falling short. Surpassing means you have found your acceptance in the eyes of the mirror, and now you move about your day with a thing called Pride.
You see, the moment I look to the mirror to find my acceptance and value is the moment my life just got a little messier. The mirror only gives you two option: Self-Loathing or Self-Loving. There is no truth. There is no balance. There are only two extremes that will wreck your life if you go there.
The mirror should not be your best friend. It should be that piece of glass on the wall that tells you whether or not you have a broccoli stuck in your teeth, and nothing more. It was never intended to give us the answer, for the answer may turn us into the witch that feeds the "fairest one" with the apple.
Yes- the mirror causes us to do some pretty nasty things.
There is a mirror, however, that does not lead to evil. There is a mirror that leads to truth. James describes that mirror in his letter to the church:
"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it- he will be blessed in what he does." (James 1:22-25)
Do you ever look in the mirror and forget the image five minutes later? I do; that's the reason I return to it so constantly. That's the reason you look for your image in every reflecting surface- windows, mirrors, blank T.V. screens...the list is endless. We constantly check our face to see if it has "changed" from five seconds ago.
What if we stopped checking our faces so much and started checking our hearts? What if we stopped turning to the mirror for our acceptance and instead looked into the Word that merges truth with reality? Would our lives be different?
Today's challenge is to break that close-knit relationship with the mirror. Be an acquaintance rather than a best friend. Be a passerby rather than a resident. Be Snow White rather than the witch...because we already have enough of the apples to go around.
Verse: "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12)
Day Thirty-One: Lose the Number
9/08/2009
I am running extremely late this morning, but I couldn't not post my challenge for today. As I prepare to go out of town, I know that I will probably be a trying-on clothes queen this afternoon.
Thus the challenge.
Today I refuse to let the number or size on an article of clothing define me.
For the most part I don't. But have you ever gone into a store to find that the jean size you typically wear is now two numbers higher? Yeah, me too.
Beauty is not dependent on the number. Beauty is not available to only one size. Beauty is unique, like each ball of cotton that goes into making each article of clothing. Remember today that when God looks at you, He does not see a number or a size.
He sees you. Perfectly and Wonderfully Made.
Verse: "For you created my INMOST being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." (Psalm 139:13)
Thus the challenge.
Today I refuse to let the number or size on an article of clothing define me.
For the most part I don't. But have you ever gone into a store to find that the jean size you typically wear is now two numbers higher? Yeah, me too.
Beauty is not dependent on the number. Beauty is not available to only one size. Beauty is unique, like each ball of cotton that goes into making each article of clothing. Remember today that when God looks at you, He does not see a number or a size.
He sees you. Perfectly and Wonderfully Made.
Verse: "For you created my INMOST being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." (Psalm 139:13)
Day Thirty: Separate Food From Beauty
I have a love/hate relationship with food, and looking around me, I'm pretty sure I am not the only one. Every girl and woman I know has been preoccupied with food at some point in time.
So why the preoccupation? Why is food such a common obsession in the lives of most women?
I think it has something to do with how we define beauty. You see, beauty today is contingent upon food. The "thin ideal" is only attainable by eating the bare minimum. The "model image" leaves no room for enjoyment. The "picture perfect" body does not allow for anything sustainable. Beauty is all about control. More specifically, it is about controlling the food that we eat.
Thus the obsession with food.
Changing the definition of beauty begins with changing your relationship with food. In order to change it, however, you have to admit that there is something wrong with it. Is your relationship with food destructive? Do you allow the definition of beauty to influence your response to the food on your plate? Take a look at the three categories below and just see if you have conjoined beauty with food.
Category #1: The woman "in control". Anorexic or health-nut. Whatever you call it, this woman is obsessed with eating the "right" kinds of food. There are food groups missing from the pyramid, making the image (and life) a little lopsided. This is the woman who avoids social gatherings because of the food factor. This is the woman who rigorously adheres to her own rule book. This is the woman who strives for perfection in all areas. This is the woman who will go all lengths to meet the narrow definition of beauty.
Category #2: The woman in "confusion". This is the compensator. She loves food, yet she hates food. She desperately wants to meet the ideal image, so she cuts back and tries to follow the rule book. Most of the time, however, she loses control. She eats, feels guilty, then compensates. She stays at the gym for far too long. She stays in the bathroom far too often. She's always fighting to meet the definition, but she never seems to quite get there. She lives in shame because she doesn't meet the ideal. This is the woman who can't seem to find the balance in life.
Category #3: The woman in "denial". This woman will tell you that there is nothing wrong with her relationship with food. She doesn't have a "disorder". She doesn't go to extremes to meet the image. What she does do, however, is talk. She talks about food, the "good" foods, the "bad" foods, the "healthy" foods, the "horrible" foods. She spouts off nutrition facts. She tells you what you should eat. She has foods categorized, and she is readily available to tell you when she is eating a "bad" food. This is the common, everyday woman. She is preoccupied with food. She has unrealistic standards. She lives bound in her mind by the expectations even though her lifestyle may or may not reflect the same expectations she adheres to.
Do you find yourself in any of the categories above? Do you see how big of a role food has in defining beautiful?
Today's challenge is to take the food out of beauty. Let beauty stand alone. There are no "good" foods or "bad" foods today. When the person at the office talks about the calories, don't entertain them. When the lady next to you spouts off her latest diet, don't feel like you have to join in. Food has no place in beauty's definition. It is meant to nourish our bodies, and nothing more.
The moment it becomes entwined in beauty is the moment you place too much importance on it. And the moment you give it importance is the moment you have turned it into a god of your own creation.
Don't bow down to the god today. Separate food from beauty and live as you were intended to live: free.
Verse: "Some became fools for their rebellious ways and suffered affliction because of their iniquities. They loathed all food and drew near the gates of death. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave." (Psalm 107:17-20)
So why the preoccupation? Why is food such a common obsession in the lives of most women?
I think it has something to do with how we define beauty. You see, beauty today is contingent upon food. The "thin ideal" is only attainable by eating the bare minimum. The "model image" leaves no room for enjoyment. The "picture perfect" body does not allow for anything sustainable. Beauty is all about control. More specifically, it is about controlling the food that we eat.
Thus the obsession with food.
Changing the definition of beauty begins with changing your relationship with food. In order to change it, however, you have to admit that there is something wrong with it. Is your relationship with food destructive? Do you allow the definition of beauty to influence your response to the food on your plate? Take a look at the three categories below and just see if you have conjoined beauty with food.
Category #1: The woman "in control". Anorexic or health-nut. Whatever you call it, this woman is obsessed with eating the "right" kinds of food. There are food groups missing from the pyramid, making the image (and life) a little lopsided. This is the woman who avoids social gatherings because of the food factor. This is the woman who rigorously adheres to her own rule book. This is the woman who strives for perfection in all areas. This is the woman who will go all lengths to meet the narrow definition of beauty.
Category #2: The woman in "confusion". This is the compensator. She loves food, yet she hates food. She desperately wants to meet the ideal image, so she cuts back and tries to follow the rule book. Most of the time, however, she loses control. She eats, feels guilty, then compensates. She stays at the gym for far too long. She stays in the bathroom far too often. She's always fighting to meet the definition, but she never seems to quite get there. She lives in shame because she doesn't meet the ideal. This is the woman who can't seem to find the balance in life.
Category #3: The woman in "denial". This woman will tell you that there is nothing wrong with her relationship with food. She doesn't have a "disorder". She doesn't go to extremes to meet the image. What she does do, however, is talk. She talks about food, the "good" foods, the "bad" foods, the "healthy" foods, the "horrible" foods. She spouts off nutrition facts. She tells you what you should eat. She has foods categorized, and she is readily available to tell you when she is eating a "bad" food. This is the common, everyday woman. She is preoccupied with food. She has unrealistic standards. She lives bound in her mind by the expectations even though her lifestyle may or may not reflect the same expectations she adheres to.
Do you find yourself in any of the categories above? Do you see how big of a role food has in defining beautiful?
Today's challenge is to take the food out of beauty. Let beauty stand alone. There are no "good" foods or "bad" foods today. When the person at the office talks about the calories, don't entertain them. When the lady next to you spouts off her latest diet, don't feel like you have to join in. Food has no place in beauty's definition. It is meant to nourish our bodies, and nothing more.
The moment it becomes entwined in beauty is the moment you place too much importance on it. And the moment you give it importance is the moment you have turned it into a god of your own creation.
Don't bow down to the god today. Separate food from beauty and live as you were intended to live: free.
Verse: "Some became fools for their rebellious ways and suffered affliction because of their iniquities. They loathed all food and drew near the gates of death. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave." (Psalm 107:17-20)
Day Twenty-Nine: Refute the Lie
9/07/2009
I haven't sat down and watched normal television in forever. I haven't seen the new commercials, new shows, or new movies.
I got a glimpse of the "new" last night, and -let me tell ya- I did not like what I saw.
As I flipped through the channels looking for something decent to watch, I came across the new Cover Girl make-up commercial. If you are a frequent TV watcher, I am sure you know the one I am talking about. Ellen Degeneres (the new spokesperson for Cover Girl I presume) made a comment that really caught my attention: "Inner beauty is important, but not nearly as important as outer beauty".
Now, I know that the whole purpose of the commercial is to get women to buy a product. I know that the media is all about selling an image. But really?! Is this the kind of message we want younger girls receiving? It's a commercial, I know, but it is so much more.
It is the heartbeat of our culture. Everywhere we look, the importance of outer beauty is thrown in our faces and inner beauty is dismissed for "what's now". Every time we give into the lie, we are giving the media the strings to control our lives.
Can we take them back? Yes.
How? We can refute the lie.
In order to redefine beauty, you have to go against the current definition. You have to refuse to let the media pull your strings. Don't buy the product if the way they sell it is demeaning. Don't watch the show if they are broadcasting an unhealthy image. Don't buy the magazines. Don't read the books. Don't accept the lie.
Redefining beauty is fighting against what beauty means today. It means speaking out and proclaiming the truth. It means placing importance on "inner beauty".
Today's challenge is to refute the lie. The lie will be thrown in your face all day today. What is the lie you cling so desperately to? How are you going to refute that today? Join me in proclaiming the truth about beauty today by refusing to take the lies.
It doesn't have to be this way...so why don't we change it? If you want to more actively change the definition, you can start by taking this quick survey for ChangeBeauty.org (launching in October!).
Verse: "They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator..." (Romans 1:25) Don't let this be you today. The truth is so much better than the lie; it's time to make the exchange.
I got a glimpse of the "new" last night, and -let me tell ya- I did not like what I saw.
As I flipped through the channels looking for something decent to watch, I came across the new Cover Girl make-up commercial. If you are a frequent TV watcher, I am sure you know the one I am talking about. Ellen Degeneres (the new spokesperson for Cover Girl I presume) made a comment that really caught my attention: "Inner beauty is important, but not nearly as important as outer beauty".
Now, I know that the whole purpose of the commercial is to get women to buy a product. I know that the media is all about selling an image. But really?! Is this the kind of message we want younger girls receiving? It's a commercial, I know, but it is so much more.
It is the heartbeat of our culture. Everywhere we look, the importance of outer beauty is thrown in our faces and inner beauty is dismissed for "what's now". Every time we give into the lie, we are giving the media the strings to control our lives.
Can we take them back? Yes.
How? We can refute the lie.
In order to redefine beauty, you have to go against the current definition. You have to refuse to let the media pull your strings. Don't buy the product if the way they sell it is demeaning. Don't watch the show if they are broadcasting an unhealthy image. Don't buy the magazines. Don't read the books. Don't accept the lie.
Redefining beauty is fighting against what beauty means today. It means speaking out and proclaiming the truth. It means placing importance on "inner beauty".
Today's challenge is to refute the lie. The lie will be thrown in your face all day today. What is the lie you cling so desperately to? How are you going to refute that today? Join me in proclaiming the truth about beauty today by refusing to take the lies.
It doesn't have to be this way...so why don't we change it? If you want to more actively change the definition, you can start by taking this quick survey for ChangeBeauty.org (launching in October!).
Verse: "They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator..." (Romans 1:25) Don't let this be you today. The truth is so much better than the lie; it's time to make the exchange.
Day Twenty-Eight: Face Anger
9/06/2009
I am a people watcher. In fact, I could spend hours at Starbucks just watching the people. There are so many types of personalities that frequent the coffee chain that there is never a dull moment. It's entertainment in its pure form; all for the price of a tall latte.
A few weeks ago I changed up my routine and actually stepped inside the store. The drive-thru line was wrapped around the building, and I was in no mood to wait hours upon end for a 12-oz cup of joe. As I stood in line, I couldn't help but watch the lady standing to the right of me.
Bitter was written across her face.
She could have been only about thirty, but she looked seventy-five. Shoulders hunched over, face drawn, and eyes narrowed, her body language screamed anger. Anger at the barista for messing up her "black coffee". Anger at the people in the store who dared to smile at her. Anger at the situation. And-quite possibly- anger at herself.
This was one angry lady.
As I watched her finally walk out the door with her "improved" cup, I wondered what brought on all that anger. What happened to her to make her that way? Did her husband die? Did she grow up with a dysfunctional family? Did life just bear down on her, raining down showers of tragedy without a reprieve in the clouds?
And then I thought of my life. I thought of the anger within my heart that seems to rise up at the most inopportune times. I thought about its methodical beat in my life, underscoring so many situations, conversations and behaviors. I thought about the times in my life when my face didn't look much different than the lady with the black coffee.
Anger.
The thing about anger is that, if left unattended, it festers. When you bury it, deny it, and push it further down into your heart, it grabs onto the root and blossoms. The branches spread from your heart to your hands. Its features are written across your face. Life grows around the trunk, piling on stress, worry, and fear, until the bark is nothing but hard, cold stone.
Anger transforms. It transforms the look on your face. It transforms the way you stand. It transforms anything and everything in your life. When you let it take root, it transforms the beautiful tree into a dead, rotten hunk of wood.
Anger is not beauty. A face of stone is not an appealing feature. A body burdened by the emotions and stresses of life does not radiate true beauty. Anger stifles the growth of anything beautiful.
It's easy to give way to anger, and it's easy to bury it. I've been known to do both, but I'm here to tell you- neither method works. Acting in anger only paints ugliness. Stifling it only sets the undercurrent of destruction going. Acknowledging it, dealing with it, and moving on is what protects beauty.
Today the challenge is to protect beauty. Protect it from the consequences of anger. Protect it from the burdens of life. Protect the true face of beauty so you will not be the lady in the coffee shop screaming over a cup of coffee.
Verse: "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death." (Psalm 68:19-20)
A few weeks ago I changed up my routine and actually stepped inside the store. The drive-thru line was wrapped around the building, and I was in no mood to wait hours upon end for a 12-oz cup of joe. As I stood in line, I couldn't help but watch the lady standing to the right of me.
Bitter was written across her face.
She could have been only about thirty, but she looked seventy-five. Shoulders hunched over, face drawn, and eyes narrowed, her body language screamed anger. Anger at the barista for messing up her "black coffee". Anger at the people in the store who dared to smile at her. Anger at the situation. And-quite possibly- anger at herself.
This was one angry lady.
As I watched her finally walk out the door with her "improved" cup, I wondered what brought on all that anger. What happened to her to make her that way? Did her husband die? Did she grow up with a dysfunctional family? Did life just bear down on her, raining down showers of tragedy without a reprieve in the clouds?
And then I thought of my life. I thought of the anger within my heart that seems to rise up at the most inopportune times. I thought about its methodical beat in my life, underscoring so many situations, conversations and behaviors. I thought about the times in my life when my face didn't look much different than the lady with the black coffee.
Anger.
The thing about anger is that, if left unattended, it festers. When you bury it, deny it, and push it further down into your heart, it grabs onto the root and blossoms. The branches spread from your heart to your hands. Its features are written across your face. Life grows around the trunk, piling on stress, worry, and fear, until the bark is nothing but hard, cold stone.
Anger transforms. It transforms the look on your face. It transforms the way you stand. It transforms anything and everything in your life. When you let it take root, it transforms the beautiful tree into a dead, rotten hunk of wood.
Anger is not beauty. A face of stone is not an appealing feature. A body burdened by the emotions and stresses of life does not radiate true beauty. Anger stifles the growth of anything beautiful.
It's easy to give way to anger, and it's easy to bury it. I've been known to do both, but I'm here to tell you- neither method works. Acting in anger only paints ugliness. Stifling it only sets the undercurrent of destruction going. Acknowledging it, dealing with it, and moving on is what protects beauty.
Today the challenge is to protect beauty. Protect it from the consequences of anger. Protect it from the burdens of life. Protect the true face of beauty so you will not be the lady in the coffee shop screaming over a cup of coffee.
Verse: "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death." (Psalm 68:19-20)
Day Twenty Seven: A "No Plans" Day
9/05/2009
Busy, busy, busy.
Do you know people like this? They are constantly doing. They never take a breath because they have to "get things done". They go by the list. They fill their time with activities. They volunteer. They go to school. They stay at work all hours of the night. They do anything and everything.
Except face their own lives.
Busyness can become an addiction in itself. It's an escape from reality. It's a way to run from the feelings, thoughts and concerns life brings. It's a way to shut down and shut out. It's a way to avoid facing the truth.
I have always been amazed at true busy-bodies. They wake up hours before the crack of dawn, and by nine 'o' clock they already have half their "to do" list checked off. They run off the steam of an hour of sleep. They accomplish more in a day than the average person will in a week. They do, do, do.
But they never face. They never rest. They never stop.
They are the energizer bunnies running on Red Bull...but the energy won't last forever. Pretty soon they will have to face reality. A tragedy may hit. The "to do" list may run out. Life may get too overwhelming to handle.
Then what do they do? Where do they turn when the busyness runs out? Who do they go to when the worries and tragedies of life threaten to overtake them?
Good question. I must start by asking myself.
You see, I am somewhat of a busy-body. When life gets to hard, I want to make plans. When the emotions threaten to overwhelm, I look for "to do" lists, errands to run, people to see. Anything but face real life. Anything but face the truth.
The truth has to be faced. I can't run from it, and you can't run from it. The truth is: life is messy, and sometimes people get hurt. Hearts get broken. Tragedies happen. Lives are lost. Running from those emotions, however, never fixes things. It only makes things worse down the road.
Think about your "issues". I had an eating disorder, but you may struggle with something else. Anger. Addiction. Depression. Whatever you struggle with, one thing remains the same: there is a reason you got there. There is a reason you walk around disappointed. There is a reason you can't "snap out" of your depression. There was a reason I turned to my eating disorder.
The reason is called life.
The cause of all these issues? Running away.
When you refuse to face the emotion, it doesn't go away. It gets buried in your heart. It stays stuck in your mind. It waits for a moment to burst out-bigger and stronger than the original emotion. If you learned, you face the emotion. You take what it brings. You face the tragedy and find a way to get through it.
But if you haven't learned, you run again. You pray that it doesn't follow you. It does, though. It stays with you until you choose to look it in the face and take life as it comes.
You can't run from life. Running only causes more problems. Running only brings more hurt. Running only leaves you deflated at the end of the race.
I find Jesus' life interesting. He never ran from His emotions.
Never.
When His good friend Lazarus died, He "wept". When the Pharisees frustrated Him to no end, Jesus told them how he felt. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus faced the tide of emotions rolling through His heart.
And He dealt with them. He let them out. He faced them. He gave them to God.
When life gets difficult, don't run. When things get too stressful, don't make another "to do" list. The challenge for today is to practice facing. Don't make a "to do" list today. Don't fill your time with activities to avoid what really matters. If something is bothering you, face it. If something is clamoring inside your heart for attention, let it in.
Follow Jesus' example, and don't run. Beauty is in the truth. There is nothing beautiful about an uptight, busy, serious woman.
There is everything beautiful about a woman who welcomes life-the good and the bad- and faces it with the strength given her to overcome.
Verse: "Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)
Do you know people like this? They are constantly doing. They never take a breath because they have to "get things done". They go by the list. They fill their time with activities. They volunteer. They go to school. They stay at work all hours of the night. They do anything and everything.
Except face their own lives.
Busyness can become an addiction in itself. It's an escape from reality. It's a way to run from the feelings, thoughts and concerns life brings. It's a way to shut down and shut out. It's a way to avoid facing the truth.
I have always been amazed at true busy-bodies. They wake up hours before the crack of dawn, and by nine 'o' clock they already have half their "to do" list checked off. They run off the steam of an hour of sleep. They accomplish more in a day than the average person will in a week. They do, do, do.
But they never face. They never rest. They never stop.
They are the energizer bunnies running on Red Bull...but the energy won't last forever. Pretty soon they will have to face reality. A tragedy may hit. The "to do" list may run out. Life may get too overwhelming to handle.
Then what do they do? Where do they turn when the busyness runs out? Who do they go to when the worries and tragedies of life threaten to overtake them?
Good question. I must start by asking myself.
You see, I am somewhat of a busy-body. When life gets to hard, I want to make plans. When the emotions threaten to overwhelm, I look for "to do" lists, errands to run, people to see. Anything but face real life. Anything but face the truth.
The truth has to be faced. I can't run from it, and you can't run from it. The truth is: life is messy, and sometimes people get hurt. Hearts get broken. Tragedies happen. Lives are lost. Running from those emotions, however, never fixes things. It only makes things worse down the road.
Think about your "issues". I had an eating disorder, but you may struggle with something else. Anger. Addiction. Depression. Whatever you struggle with, one thing remains the same: there is a reason you got there. There is a reason you walk around disappointed. There is a reason you can't "snap out" of your depression. There was a reason I turned to my eating disorder.
The reason is called life.
The cause of all these issues? Running away.
When you refuse to face the emotion, it doesn't go away. It gets buried in your heart. It stays stuck in your mind. It waits for a moment to burst out-bigger and stronger than the original emotion. If you learned, you face the emotion. You take what it brings. You face the tragedy and find a way to get through it.
But if you haven't learned, you run again. You pray that it doesn't follow you. It does, though. It stays with you until you choose to look it in the face and take life as it comes.
You can't run from life. Running only causes more problems. Running only brings more hurt. Running only leaves you deflated at the end of the race.
I find Jesus' life interesting. He never ran from His emotions.
Never.
When His good friend Lazarus died, He "wept". When the Pharisees frustrated Him to no end, Jesus told them how he felt. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus faced the tide of emotions rolling through His heart.
And He dealt with them. He let them out. He faced them. He gave them to God.
When life gets difficult, don't run. When things get too stressful, don't make another "to do" list. The challenge for today is to practice facing. Don't make a "to do" list today. Don't fill your time with activities to avoid what really matters. If something is bothering you, face it. If something is clamoring inside your heart for attention, let it in.
Follow Jesus' example, and don't run. Beauty is in the truth. There is nothing beautiful about an uptight, busy, serious woman.
There is everything beautiful about a woman who welcomes life-the good and the bad- and faces it with the strength given her to overcome.
Verse: "Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)
Day Twenty-Six: The Two Fold Magazine Challenge
9/04/2009
Before you start reading the challenge, watch this video:
The Media Game
Ok, did you watch it? Good. Today's challenge is drastic. It will be life-changing if you continue with it. It may even compel you to speak out against our lovely "friend" called the media.
The Challenge? Throw out the fashion magazines and refuse to buy anymore.
Seventeen? Out. Cosmo? Out. Vogue? Out.
Every magazine that glorifies unrealistic images- throw them all out. As long as you keep these magazines, you are still buying into the false definition of beauty. The longer you sit staring at the picture of a "gorgeous" model, the longer you will remain in bondage to these unrealistic and destructive ideals.
Do you know what most teenage girls use these pictures for? A little thing called "thinspiration". They cut out the pictures and glorify them. They determine that they will look like these models, and down the pit they go. They restrict. They lose weight when there was none to lose. They workout until the point of death (for some of them) until they look "perfect". The images are glorified. The behavior is modified. And the life is crucified.
The lives of girls are bound to these images, and the magazines and images become the "cross" used to inflict torture. It stamps out all truth. It glorifies death and destruction. It changes the course of so many lives.
For my freshman English course earlier this year, I wrote a paper on the media's effect on women. During my research, I came across numerous interviews with fashion designers and magazine editors. In every interview, they were asked if they think the current concept of beauty is unrealistic and destructive. Every one of them said yes.
But get this- they refuse to change it. Why? Because in their own words, "it sells". People are buying the image, and as long as people buy it, the magazines will not change it. Sad? Yes. Frustrating? Yes. Wrong? Oh yeah. But that is how the industry works.
So it's time to change the rules: no more buying magazines. It's not an effort to hurt the industry; it's an effort to redefine beauty. If women stop buying the magazines temporarily, the magazines will be forced to change. After all, they have to sell the product. Why not try to make the product something beneficial to the lives of women?
Take the challenge to redefine beauty. Stop buying the magazines and spread the word. We have the power to change the definition of beauty- will you take it?
Verse: "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)
The Media Game
Ok, did you watch it? Good. Today's challenge is drastic. It will be life-changing if you continue with it. It may even compel you to speak out against our lovely "friend" called the media.
The Challenge? Throw out the fashion magazines and refuse to buy anymore.
Seventeen? Out. Cosmo? Out. Vogue? Out.
Every magazine that glorifies unrealistic images- throw them all out. As long as you keep these magazines, you are still buying into the false definition of beauty. The longer you sit staring at the picture of a "gorgeous" model, the longer you will remain in bondage to these unrealistic and destructive ideals.
Do you know what most teenage girls use these pictures for? A little thing called "thinspiration". They cut out the pictures and glorify them. They determine that they will look like these models, and down the pit they go. They restrict. They lose weight when there was none to lose. They workout until the point of death (for some of them) until they look "perfect". The images are glorified. The behavior is modified. And the life is crucified.
The lives of girls are bound to these images, and the magazines and images become the "cross" used to inflict torture. It stamps out all truth. It glorifies death and destruction. It changes the course of so many lives.
For my freshman English course earlier this year, I wrote a paper on the media's effect on women. During my research, I came across numerous interviews with fashion designers and magazine editors. In every interview, they were asked if they think the current concept of beauty is unrealistic and destructive. Every one of them said yes.
But get this- they refuse to change it. Why? Because in their own words, "it sells". People are buying the image, and as long as people buy it, the magazines will not change it. Sad? Yes. Frustrating? Yes. Wrong? Oh yeah. But that is how the industry works.
So it's time to change the rules: no more buying magazines. It's not an effort to hurt the industry; it's an effort to redefine beauty. If women stop buying the magazines temporarily, the magazines will be forced to change. After all, they have to sell the product. Why not try to make the product something beneficial to the lives of women?
Take the challenge to redefine beauty. Stop buying the magazines and spread the word. We have the power to change the definition of beauty- will you take it?
Verse: "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)
Day Twenty-Five: Face What You Are Not
9/02/2009
Sometimes to be able to define what something is, you have to list what it is not. Today is about facing the "am nots". The journey to defining yourself for who you are begins with proclaiming what you are not.
Here is what I am not today:
1. I am not a model on the cover of a magazine. Nor will I ever be a model on the cover of a magazine. My value and worth does not come from photoshop. My beauty is not affirmed by the number of subscriptions people buy of my face.
2. I am not a perfectly-toned, clear-skinned, bone-thin cast member of the O.C. And that is ok. The minute I become a perfectly-toned, clear-skinned, bone-thin cast member of the O.C., I will have ceased to be me.
3. I am not a slave to the food on my plate. Food does not define me. A piece of cake or a bag of chips does not dictate my mood, ruin my day, or cause turmoil in my mind. It is just food, and I will continue to look at it as such until it gets up, walks, and tells me otherwise.
4. I am not the "best". I come in second place. Sometimes lower than that. I don't have to prove my beauty, value or worth by being the best at everything. It is tiresome, draining, and just plain pointless. There is always someone better than me. But on the bright side- there is also somebody worse. :)
5. I am not "drop dead gorgeous". Men do not pause and "reflect" on my beauty. People do not stand in line and hold up round numbers as I pass by. I am not voted on by a scale of one to ten. I am not a 10, and I am thankful I am not a 10. At least on a good day.
6. I am not my eating disorder. I am me, apart from Ed. Somewhere along the way, the line got cloudy, and our persons merged. Not anymore. Today I stand alone, just me.
7. I am not defined by the mirror. There are so many other things that define me. Like my love for writing, my passion for hurting girls, my fervor to speak truth, my love of Starbucks, my quiet yet outgoing personality...
8. I am not a follower. I refuse to follow the trend. I will not partake in the latest diet, fashion or "look" just because everyone else is doing it.
9. I am not who you say I am. I am who God says I am- nothing more, nothing less. He defines me, not the world and it's opinion.
10. I am not People's magazine Most Beautiful girl of the year...and I am perfectly and totally okay with that today.
Face what you are not today. Look to Christ. Find out what you are. And don't let anyone else's definition define you.
Verse: "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10)
P.S. If you haven't already, check out the Project Change Beauty tab above! It's all about the upcoming website.
Here is what I am not today:
1. I am not a model on the cover of a magazine. Nor will I ever be a model on the cover of a magazine. My value and worth does not come from photoshop. My beauty is not affirmed by the number of subscriptions people buy of my face.
2. I am not a perfectly-toned, clear-skinned, bone-thin cast member of the O.C. And that is ok. The minute I become a perfectly-toned, clear-skinned, bone-thin cast member of the O.C., I will have ceased to be me.
3. I am not a slave to the food on my plate. Food does not define me. A piece of cake or a bag of chips does not dictate my mood, ruin my day, or cause turmoil in my mind. It is just food, and I will continue to look at it as such until it gets up, walks, and tells me otherwise.
4. I am not the "best". I come in second place. Sometimes lower than that. I don't have to prove my beauty, value or worth by being the best at everything. It is tiresome, draining, and just plain pointless. There is always someone better than me. But on the bright side- there is also somebody worse. :)
5. I am not "drop dead gorgeous". Men do not pause and "reflect" on my beauty. People do not stand in line and hold up round numbers as I pass by. I am not voted on by a scale of one to ten. I am not a 10, and I am thankful I am not a 10. At least on a good day.
6. I am not my eating disorder. I am me, apart from Ed. Somewhere along the way, the line got cloudy, and our persons merged. Not anymore. Today I stand alone, just me.
7. I am not defined by the mirror. There are so many other things that define me. Like my love for writing, my passion for hurting girls, my fervor to speak truth, my love of Starbucks, my quiet yet outgoing personality...
8. I am not a follower. I refuse to follow the trend. I will not partake in the latest diet, fashion or "look" just because everyone else is doing it.
9. I am not who you say I am. I am who God says I am- nothing more, nothing less. He defines me, not the world and it's opinion.
10. I am not People's magazine Most Beautiful girl of the year...and I am perfectly and totally okay with that today.
Face what you are not today. Look to Christ. Find out what you are. And don't let anyone else's definition define you.
Verse: "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10)
P.S. If you haven't already, check out the Project Change Beauty tab above! It's all about the upcoming website.
Day Twenty Four: Be Flexible Enough to Allow Change
Ok, so I have a problem. It's called stubbornness. Or "set in my ways". Or, if you want to hit the nail right on the head, you would call it "hates it when people get in the way of her routine".
Yep- that's me. Good 'ole grandma whose morning is not SUPPOSED to be interrupted.
Lately, though, God must be trying to get my attention because NOTHING has gone according to routine. I wish I could say that I have handled it gracefully...but I haven't. I wish I could tell you that I adjusted right away...but I didn't. I wish I could pretend that none of it bothers me...but it does.
Here's the thing about change: some of it I like, some of it I don't. The kind that I like is the kind that I choose to happen. The rest is, well, evil.
With that said, what would life be like without change? What would we be like if we refused to do anything uncomfortable? For one, nothing would ever get better. We would sit around complaining about life, but no one would make the move to fix it because it would be uncomfortable. Hard. Bothersome.
If I refused to change, I would not be where I am today. If I refused to change my habits, I would still be stuck in my addictions. If I refused to believe a different truth, I would still be living by the lies. If I refused to let God shake up my life a little bit, I would still be stuck in the pit, complaining and whining.
But I did change. I did take that step. And as a result, my life is Beautiful. Perfect? No. Beautiful? Yes.
It's beautiful because all that muck is gone, and now I can actually see through the water. It's beautiful because the darkness has faded away and let the light shine in. It's beautiful because it's a life a truth, not lies.
Beauty is not possible without a little change. To get out of your addictions, you have to take that first step. Freedom won't just fall into your lap. The lies will not simply go away. You have to choose to change. You have to challenge the thoughts. You have to choose not to do some things. You have to change the meaning of beautiful and replace it with truth.
Today I am going to be flexible enough to allow change. I am going to rely on God instead of relying on the anger that makes itself readily available. Am I perfect? No. Will I meet every trial with grace? Probably not. But I can try. I can continue looking to the one who can change my heart so beauty shines through instead of all the other negative muck.
Verse: "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." (James 1: 19-20)
Yep- that's me. Good 'ole grandma whose morning is not SUPPOSED to be interrupted.
Lately, though, God must be trying to get my attention because NOTHING has gone according to routine. I wish I could say that I have handled it gracefully...but I haven't. I wish I could tell you that I adjusted right away...but I didn't. I wish I could pretend that none of it bothers me...but it does.
Here's the thing about change: some of it I like, some of it I don't. The kind that I like is the kind that I choose to happen. The rest is, well, evil.
With that said, what would life be like without change? What would we be like if we refused to do anything uncomfortable? For one, nothing would ever get better. We would sit around complaining about life, but no one would make the move to fix it because it would be uncomfortable. Hard. Bothersome.
If I refused to change, I would not be where I am today. If I refused to change my habits, I would still be stuck in my addictions. If I refused to believe a different truth, I would still be living by the lies. If I refused to let God shake up my life a little bit, I would still be stuck in the pit, complaining and whining.
But I did change. I did take that step. And as a result, my life is Beautiful. Perfect? No. Beautiful? Yes.
It's beautiful because all that muck is gone, and now I can actually see through the water. It's beautiful because the darkness has faded away and let the light shine in. It's beautiful because it's a life a truth, not lies.
Beauty is not possible without a little change. To get out of your addictions, you have to take that first step. Freedom won't just fall into your lap. The lies will not simply go away. You have to choose to change. You have to challenge the thoughts. You have to choose not to do some things. You have to change the meaning of beautiful and replace it with truth.
Today I am going to be flexible enough to allow change. I am going to rely on God instead of relying on the anger that makes itself readily available. Am I perfect? No. Will I meet every trial with grace? Probably not. But I can try. I can continue looking to the one who can change my heart so beauty shines through instead of all the other negative muck.
Verse: "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." (James 1: 19-20)
Day Twenty Three: Sit Through the Feeling
9/01/2009
If you have ever had an eating disorder and seen any sort of professional for help, you have heard this statement:
"Fat is not a feeling."
How true- and yet- how wrong.
Fat is indeed not an emotion. It does not fall into the list of sad, angry, happy. It does not have a place on the Emotions magnet. It is not an emotion in that fat never enters the heart. Your heart will feel sorrow, but your heart will never feel fat.
Fat is, however, a feeling. It is a feeling in that there is a certain uncomfortableness in being larger than you hope. It is a feeling in that you physically "feel" fat. You can feel the weight that should not be there. You can feel the extra pounds in your gut (even if they really aren't there). You feel uncomfortable, so you conclude that you are fat. The physical feeling of uncomfortableness is why so many of us say we "feel fat".
Because we do- in the physical sense.
And what do we do when we "feel" fat? We typically run from the feeling. We drown ourselves in our work, hoping to seek some reprieve from the constant reminder in our stomachs. We start watching what we eat to the point of obsession. We fill the perceived emotion with food and then empty it with- well, you know. We stay at the gym longer than we should to "control" the feeling in our stomachs. We do everything imaginable but sit in it.
Sitting in the feeling is not about emotions. Fat is not an emotion, but it can be a physical feeling. It can be the driving factor of your behavior. It can be the drive behind the addiction. Feeling fat has a way of controlling your life.
So today sit in the feeling. It's uncomfortable, yes. It's challenging, yes. But it is one step closer to freedom.
Today beauty is not about the outside. It's not even about the inside. Beauty is about coping with what you've got and not running from it. Beauty is sitting through the "I feel fat" moment.
And doing absolutely nothing about it.
Verse: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13)
"Fat is not a feeling."
How true- and yet- how wrong.
Fat is indeed not an emotion. It does not fall into the list of sad, angry, happy. It does not have a place on the Emotions magnet. It is not an emotion in that fat never enters the heart. Your heart will feel sorrow, but your heart will never feel fat.
Fat is, however, a feeling. It is a feeling in that there is a certain uncomfortableness in being larger than you hope. It is a feeling in that you physically "feel" fat. You can feel the weight that should not be there. You can feel the extra pounds in your gut (even if they really aren't there). You feel uncomfortable, so you conclude that you are fat. The physical feeling of uncomfortableness is why so many of us say we "feel fat".
Because we do- in the physical sense.
And what do we do when we "feel" fat? We typically run from the feeling. We drown ourselves in our work, hoping to seek some reprieve from the constant reminder in our stomachs. We start watching what we eat to the point of obsession. We fill the perceived emotion with food and then empty it with- well, you know. We stay at the gym longer than we should to "control" the feeling in our stomachs. We do everything imaginable but sit in it.
Sitting in the feeling is not about emotions. Fat is not an emotion, but it can be a physical feeling. It can be the driving factor of your behavior. It can be the drive behind the addiction. Feeling fat has a way of controlling your life.
So today sit in the feeling. It's uncomfortable, yes. It's challenging, yes. But it is one step closer to freedom.
Today beauty is not about the outside. It's not even about the inside. Beauty is about coping with what you've got and not running from it. Beauty is sitting through the "I feel fat" moment.
And doing absolutely nothing about it.
Verse: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13)
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