Sometimes I wish we all looked like one another.
I mean, think about how much trouble would be saved if all of us girls looked the same. We wouldn't have to compete for the guy. We wouldn't have to walk around with the fear of not looking "good enough". We wouldn't have to go on diets so we can look as good as her. We wouldn't have to worry about make-up, plastic surgery, weight, or the size of our jeans. We wouldn't be focused on appearances at all!
It sounds too good to be true.
Because it is.
We were created to look this way. I was created to look the way I look, and you were created to look the way you look. Get mad at God all you want, but it's a fact. Your face is a creation, my dear.
God is not a God of conformity. He doesn't fashion every leaf the same way. He doesn't color flowers the same shade. He doesn't mold you and I from the same mold.
He is a God of individuality.
Even the seemingly identical things of creation are not identical. For instance, identical twins may look exactly the same at first glance, but once you get to know them, you will find that there are distinct physical characteristics unique to each individual. Then look at snowflakes. From afar they all look the same: tiny, white, and wet. Up-close, however, you realize that each snowflake has an intricate design that is unique to that snowflake in particular.
You will never find that same design on another snowflake; they're unique.
And you and I are unique.
We were created with a purpose in mind. We were each created beautiful, just not all in the same way. The moment we try to conform to someone else's beauty is the moment we disrupt our own beauty. Like a snowflake, there will never be another you in all of creation.
So embrace it.
Reminders
11/23/2009
Sometimes it's good to be reminded of who God is in our life. In the day-to-day trials and stresses, we often forget about the One who loves us unconditionally. We often forget about the truth. We often live by our feelings instead of by the facts. Below I am posting a couple of reminders of who God is in my life. I received this a couple years ago, and I always turn to it when life gets a little overwhelming. When you can't discern truth from the lies, remember these words the Father speaks over you every day:
I made her... she is different. She is unique. With LOVE I formed her in her mother's womb. With LOVE I fashioned her with great joy. I remember with great pleasure the day I created her.
(Psalm 139: 13-16)
I LOVE her smile. I LOVE her ways. I LOVE to hear her laugh. And the silly things she says and does. She brings Me great pleasure... this is how I made her.
(Psalm 139:17)
I made her pretty, but not beautiful, because I know her heart, and she would be vain. I wanted her to search out her heart and to learn that it would be Me in her that would make her beautiful... and it would be Me in her that would draw friends to her.
(1 Peter 3:3-5)
I made her in such a way that she would need Me. I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be... only because I need her to lean and depend on Me. I know her heart, I know if I had not made her like this, she would go her own chosen way and forget Me... her creator.
(Psalm 62: 5-8)
I have given her many good and happy things.... because I love her.
(Psalm 34:11 and Romans 8:32)
Because I love her I have seen her broken, hurt... and the tears she has cried alone. I have cried them with her, and had a broken heart, too.
(Psalm 58:6)
Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone only because she would not hold My hand. So many lessons she has learned the hard way because she would not listen to my voice.
(Isaiah 66:2)
So many times I have sat back and sadly watched her go her merry way alone only to watch her return to My arms, sad and broken.
(Isaiah 66:2)
And now she is mine again...I made her and then bought her... because I LOVE her.
(Romans 5:8)
I have to reshape and remold her... to renew to what I had planned for her to be. It has not been easy for her or Me.
(Jeremiah 29:11)
I want her to be conformed to My image... this goal I have set for her... because I LOVE HER!
( 2 Corinthians 2:14)
I made her... she is different. She is unique. With LOVE I formed her in her mother's womb. With LOVE I fashioned her with great joy. I remember with great pleasure the day I created her.
(Psalm 139: 13-16)
I LOVE her smile. I LOVE her ways. I LOVE to hear her laugh. And the silly things she says and does. She brings Me great pleasure... this is how I made her.
(Psalm 139:17)
I made her pretty, but not beautiful, because I know her heart, and she would be vain. I wanted her to search out her heart and to learn that it would be Me in her that would make her beautiful... and it would be Me in her that would draw friends to her.
(1 Peter 3:3-5)
I made her in such a way that she would need Me. I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be... only because I need her to lean and depend on Me. I know her heart, I know if I had not made her like this, she would go her own chosen way and forget Me... her creator.
(Psalm 62: 5-8)
I have given her many good and happy things.... because I love her.
(Psalm 34:11 and Romans 8:32)
Because I love her I have seen her broken, hurt... and the tears she has cried alone. I have cried them with her, and had a broken heart, too.
(Psalm 58:6)
Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone only because she would not hold My hand. So many lessons she has learned the hard way because she would not listen to my voice.
(Isaiah 66:2)
So many times I have sat back and sadly watched her go her merry way alone only to watch her return to My arms, sad and broken.
(Isaiah 66:2)
And now she is mine again...I made her and then bought her... because I LOVE her.
(Romans 5:8)
I have to reshape and remold her... to renew to what I had planned for her to be. It has not been easy for her or Me.
(Jeremiah 29:11)
I want her to be conformed to My image... this goal I have set for her... because I LOVE HER!
( 2 Corinthians 2:14)
Enough
11/19/2009
Sometimes life feels like a fundraiser.
Have you ever seen those thermometer-type posters that keep track of incoming funds? You know, the kind where the thermometer keeps rising every time money is donated?
Sometimes I feel like life is one of those big thermometer posters, keeping track of all the ways I have still yet to measure up. It's tiring. It's frustrating. And it often seems never-ending.
Do you ever feel like you aren't enough? You're not a good enough daughter. You're not a good enough wife. You're not a good enough sister, niece, granddaughter, friend, acquaintance or worker. You're not pretty enough, strong enough, loud enough, quiet enough, loving enough...
Basically, you just feel like you're not enough.
You're not alone. I bet if we were to take a poll today, we would find that most women in the world don't feel like they are good enough for something. We all feel inadequate. We all feel "not enough" at times and moments. We all experience those doubts of our capabilities. We all feel the sliding terror of never being able to measure up.
In her book Captivating, Stasi Eldredge writes, "Every women I've ever met feels it-something deeper than just failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough and I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy." The truth is, we all feel it. We all have lists of ways we feel we're never enough.
But we can't dwell there. Because when we dwell there, shame settles in.
Shame of who we are and who we are not. Shame of our lives as they are and shame of what they might have been. Shame over our pasts. Shame over our presents. Shame over our futures. Shame is the constant companion of never feeling enough, and the voice of the constant accuser that tells us we need to do better and, at the same time, that we will "never do better".
Here's truth: On your own, you are not enough. You can never meet the high standards. You can never conquer the expectations on your own. You will fall short, and you will fail.
But where you are never enough, HE IS. My friend, Jesus is enough. There are times I feel like I'm drowning in the ocean of "never enough", and then I am gently reminded of all that my Jesus is. Where we fail, He wins. Where we lack, He makes up. Where we fall short, He exceeds. He died so that at the end of our lives, we would be enough.
And you are enough.
Just don't pay any mind to that large thermometer-like poster in the middle of your life. It's missing a few crucial donations.
Have you ever seen those thermometer-type posters that keep track of incoming funds? You know, the kind where the thermometer keeps rising every time money is donated?
Sometimes I feel like life is one of those big thermometer posters, keeping track of all the ways I have still yet to measure up. It's tiring. It's frustrating. And it often seems never-ending.
Do you ever feel like you aren't enough? You're not a good enough daughter. You're not a good enough wife. You're not a good enough sister, niece, granddaughter, friend, acquaintance or worker. You're not pretty enough, strong enough, loud enough, quiet enough, loving enough...
Basically, you just feel like you're not enough.
You're not alone. I bet if we were to take a poll today, we would find that most women in the world don't feel like they are good enough for something. We all feel inadequate. We all feel "not enough" at times and moments. We all experience those doubts of our capabilities. We all feel the sliding terror of never being able to measure up.
In her book Captivating, Stasi Eldredge writes, "Every women I've ever met feels it-something deeper than just failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough and I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy." The truth is, we all feel it. We all have lists of ways we feel we're never enough.
But we can't dwell there. Because when we dwell there, shame settles in.
Shame of who we are and who we are not. Shame of our lives as they are and shame of what they might have been. Shame over our pasts. Shame over our presents. Shame over our futures. Shame is the constant companion of never feeling enough, and the voice of the constant accuser that tells us we need to do better and, at the same time, that we will "never do better".
Here's truth: On your own, you are not enough. You can never meet the high standards. You can never conquer the expectations on your own. You will fall short, and you will fail.
But where you are never enough, HE IS. My friend, Jesus is enough. There are times I feel like I'm drowning in the ocean of "never enough", and then I am gently reminded of all that my Jesus is. Where we fail, He wins. Where we lack, He makes up. Where we fall short, He exceeds. He died so that at the end of our lives, we would be enough.
And you are enough.
Just don't pay any mind to that large thermometer-like poster in the middle of your life. It's missing a few crucial donations.
Beauty vs. Function
11/16/2009
Sometimes I wonder if Sleeping Beauty was good for anything except being beautiful.
We know Cinderella had her life together. I mean, she didn't always start out as a gorgeous princess in fairy tale world; she started off as a maid. A soot-covered, used-and-abused maidservant.
And then there's Belle, who was always beautiful but useful too. She knew the town's library like the back of her hand. Plus, she could tame a beast. That's pretty useful.
Don't forget about Ariel. She was beautiful-yes-but remember what happened when Ursula took away her voice? Her beauty did not sustain her. She was pushed to the side when someone more beautiful came along.
Oh, but Sleeping Beauty. She was always beautiful. Even hiding away in the forest didn't deter her beauty. The fairies took care of her every need; all she had to do was wander around the trees, sing songs, and capture the attention of the wandering Prince (which couldn't have been all that hard).
What a life.
There were challenges, yes. But she never had to untangle herself from the thorns... someone else was always there to do the work for her. She slept as the battle waged on, never once smearing her lipstick or letting a hair fall out of place.
Must have been hard being Sleeping Beauty.
You know, there are plenty of Sleeping Beautys in today's world. There are girls who speak nothing but beauty. They can tell you all the greatest fashions. They can direct you to the best and most expensive make-up. They can even inform you of all the things you need to change in order to meet the "beautiful" qualifications.
What they can't tell you, however, is how to function in real-life.
Fairy tales are great, don't get me wrong. I've always wanted to be a beautiful princess in a castle. I've always wanted the Prince to come after me and rescue me from whatever evil lies outside my castle.
But I don't want to become so wrapped up in fantasy that I forget reality. And sometimes beauty makes us forget reality. Sometimes it draws us in until we don't know which way is up. Sometimes it overtakes us (and our mirrors). Sometimes it erases all the important writing and leaves only traces of scribbles.
All-consuming beauty is not practical. When looking your best becomes more important than being able to do your schoolwork, there is a problem. When the mirror keeps you from venturing outside your house to do the basic everyday tasks, there is a problem. When your so-called imperfections keep you hiding away in bed, there is a major problem.
Beauty, if you let it, can take away function. It can strip you of all the important things of life. It can convince you that it is the only thing that matters.
But it lies.
Beauty will never replace being able to wash the dishes, go to work, or get an education. It will never be more important than tying your shoes, driving your car, or interacting with the people you love.
It's not the most important thing in the world, so let's renounce it from its throne.
We know Cinderella had her life together. I mean, she didn't always start out as a gorgeous princess in fairy tale world; she started off as a maid. A soot-covered, used-and-abused maidservant.
And then there's Belle, who was always beautiful but useful too. She knew the town's library like the back of her hand. Plus, she could tame a beast. That's pretty useful.
Don't forget about Ariel. She was beautiful-yes-but remember what happened when Ursula took away her voice? Her beauty did not sustain her. She was pushed to the side when someone more beautiful came along.
Oh, but Sleeping Beauty. She was always beautiful. Even hiding away in the forest didn't deter her beauty. The fairies took care of her every need; all she had to do was wander around the trees, sing songs, and capture the attention of the wandering Prince (which couldn't have been all that hard).
What a life.
There were challenges, yes. But she never had to untangle herself from the thorns... someone else was always there to do the work for her. She slept as the battle waged on, never once smearing her lipstick or letting a hair fall out of place.
Must have been hard being Sleeping Beauty.
You know, there are plenty of Sleeping Beautys in today's world. There are girls who speak nothing but beauty. They can tell you all the greatest fashions. They can direct you to the best and most expensive make-up. They can even inform you of all the things you need to change in order to meet the "beautiful" qualifications.
What they can't tell you, however, is how to function in real-life.
Fairy tales are great, don't get me wrong. I've always wanted to be a beautiful princess in a castle. I've always wanted the Prince to come after me and rescue me from whatever evil lies outside my castle.
But I don't want to become so wrapped up in fantasy that I forget reality. And sometimes beauty makes us forget reality. Sometimes it draws us in until we don't know which way is up. Sometimes it overtakes us (and our mirrors). Sometimes it erases all the important writing and leaves only traces of scribbles.
All-consuming beauty is not practical. When looking your best becomes more important than being able to do your schoolwork, there is a problem. When the mirror keeps you from venturing outside your house to do the basic everyday tasks, there is a problem. When your so-called imperfections keep you hiding away in bed, there is a major problem.
Beauty, if you let it, can take away function. It can strip you of all the important things of life. It can convince you that it is the only thing that matters.
But it lies.
Beauty will never replace being able to wash the dishes, go to work, or get an education. It will never be more important than tying your shoes, driving your car, or interacting with the people you love.
It's not the most important thing in the world, so let's renounce it from its throne.
A Lesson From Dory
11/13/2009
Life is hard sometimes, isn't it?
It's hard to put one foot in front of the other when it seems like the earth beneath you is collapsing. It's hard to move on when the thing you are leaving behind has such a strong hold over you. It's hard to believe in God's plans when yours are unraveling at the seams. It's hard to cling to hope when the one thing you hoped for passes by, leaving you disappointed and confused.
In those moments of thwarted plans and disappointed dreams, I think of Dory. Yes, the talking fish on Finding Nemo. Given the fact that 1) she is a fish, 2) she was a little spacey at times, and 3) she is a cartoon in a children's movie, you wouldn't think she would make an impact on a real, live adult.
Like I said, life is unpredictable.
Dory encourages me. This week as I sat looking at disappointed dreams, I recalled my favorite line in the movie:
"Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down, do you know what you've gotta do? ... Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim."
Sometimes we've got to just keep swimming. When life doesn't work out according to your plans, what do you do? Do you give up? Do you walk around in a foul mood and blow up at everyone around you? Do you walk around with a sleeve of bitterness? Or do you keep swimming, no matter how great the odds?
This week I was presented with the opportunity to "just keep swimming". I received the dread of every writer: the rejection letter. Okay, it was more like the rejection email. I looked at it in my inbox and, for a moment, let my dreams die. "I'm not good enough...No one will ever want to publish my book...I guess I'll just quit writing altogether."
I was not swimming. I was more like sinking.
Then (after several hours of pouting and sulking and "woe is me"-ing) I realized just how exciting of an opportunity this is. Yes, my book proposal was not accepted by the first publisher I ever sent it to. Yes, I have to start the process all over again. Yes, it stinks.
But I sent it. And the book, as this editor nicely encouraged me, "made it to the next level". It just wasn't what they were looking for. They were looking for "medical", and-well-I am no doctor.
But that's okay because they didn't say they didn't like my writing. They didn't even say they didn't like my book. It just wasn't the book they had in mind.
I should so be rejoicing.
So, after my midweek meltdown, I am up and swimming again. And you should do the same. Whatever may be disappointing you, just keep swimming. God is in control.
Sometimes you just have to keep going through the waves.
It's hard to put one foot in front of the other when it seems like the earth beneath you is collapsing. It's hard to move on when the thing you are leaving behind has such a strong hold over you. It's hard to believe in God's plans when yours are unraveling at the seams. It's hard to cling to hope when the one thing you hoped for passes by, leaving you disappointed and confused.
In those moments of thwarted plans and disappointed dreams, I think of Dory. Yes, the talking fish on Finding Nemo. Given the fact that 1) she is a fish, 2) she was a little spacey at times, and 3) she is a cartoon in a children's movie, you wouldn't think she would make an impact on a real, live adult.
Like I said, life is unpredictable.
Dory encourages me. This week as I sat looking at disappointed dreams, I recalled my favorite line in the movie:
"Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down, do you know what you've gotta do? ... Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim."
Sometimes we've got to just keep swimming. When life doesn't work out according to your plans, what do you do? Do you give up? Do you walk around in a foul mood and blow up at everyone around you? Do you walk around with a sleeve of bitterness? Or do you keep swimming, no matter how great the odds?
This week I was presented with the opportunity to "just keep swimming". I received the dread of every writer: the rejection letter. Okay, it was more like the rejection email. I looked at it in my inbox and, for a moment, let my dreams die. "I'm not good enough...No one will ever want to publish my book...I guess I'll just quit writing altogether."
I was not swimming. I was more like sinking.
Then (after several hours of pouting and sulking and "woe is me"-ing) I realized just how exciting of an opportunity this is. Yes, my book proposal was not accepted by the first publisher I ever sent it to. Yes, I have to start the process all over again. Yes, it stinks.
But I sent it. And the book, as this editor nicely encouraged me, "made it to the next level". It just wasn't what they were looking for. They were looking for "medical", and-well-I am no doctor.
But that's okay because they didn't say they didn't like my writing. They didn't even say they didn't like my book. It just wasn't the book they had in mind.
I should so be rejoicing.
So, after my midweek meltdown, I am up and swimming again. And you should do the same. Whatever may be disappointing you, just keep swimming. God is in control.
Sometimes you just have to keep going through the waves.
To Be Seen
11/11/2009
We were quite the unlikely pair, she and I.
She, dressed in black from head to toe, hid beneath the hair always covering her face. I, dressed in whatever would cover me the most, hid beneath the face of perfection. She lived in the world where "numb" was the only available emotion; I lived in the world that never ran out of tears.
We didn't meet in the most ideal of circumstances. In fact, we were both pretty much as far "rock bottom" as rock bottom can get.
I didn't plan on talking to anyone there. With my face toward the white expanse and my chair back against the room, I was pretty much unapproachable.
She found me, nevertheless.
As she sat down at the table and turned her chair toward mine, I was already planning an excuse to hightail it out of there. There were "weirdos" here, and I wanted nothing to do with any of them. As I formulated my escape plan, she started talking to me.
"What are you doing?"
I'm pretty sure I looked at her like she was an idiot at this point. I mean, how much more obvious could staring at the wall be? Did I need to put up a sign saying, "Staring at Wall. Do Not Disturb"? Don't worry though, I appeased her.
"Knitting a scarf, and-after lunch-I'll be sewing mittens to match."
It must have been my charm that encouraged her to keep on talking...because she did.
"Why are you here?"
"I have issues."
She sat there for a moment and then said, "Yeah, me too."
Wow. Shocker. All that time I had been thinking she was there on vacation.
She joined me at that table and never left. Every free moment, she sat there, sharing her story with me. As I listened to her life, I realized that she was not much different than me. Yes, the events were different. Deep down, however, she and I were cut from the same cloth. We both felt invisible in a big, scary world, and we both tried to gain the attention we craved any way we could.
"Sometimes I would give anything for someone to notice me."
She told me this after showing me her scars. Scars that spoke of deep pain she couldn't even name. Scars that cried out for attention. Scars that wanted to be seen and touched.
Scars that would never take the pain away.
I don't remember her name. I didn't keep the phone number that she stuffed in my hands before she left. I don't even remember the school she told me she went to.
All I remember is her story and its theme.
She comes to my mind often. I pray that she has found some source of healthy attention, but parts of me doubt it. Statistics show that the majority of teens who leave institutions of the world return worse than they came in. They have no hope. All they see is what they know, and what they know holds no hope.
So they end up back in the arms of institutions, hospitals, and-eventually-jails.
It's really all so sad.
Her struggle is not so foreign. We all want to be noticed. We all want to be seen. None of us want to be invisible, so we gain the attention any way we can. Some of us act out, holding the belief that any attention is better than no attention at all. Some of us chase perfection, believing that it will fill all of our needs. Some of us cling in desperation to every person we know, terrified of that moment they decide we are not worthy enough to be seen. Some of us create hopeless situations that warrant the need of a savior.
And we wait and wait and wait for that savior to come...only he never does. The human hero will never be able to save you, no matter how fancy his hero cape.
There is hope, though. There is someone who sees you in the midst of your pain, and He's waiting for you to stop chasing human heros and look to Him. He has His own scarred hands. Scars that speak of your pain. Scars that speak of your own hopelessness. Scars that speak of the victory He has won for you.
He bore your scars so you would have no need for your own.
The truth is, we all struggle with wanting to be seen. We all fear becoming invisible. Some of us just go farther for attention than others. Some of us go all the way to rock bottom, and those of us who have been there can testify that even rock bottom will not make a difference.
God sees you, no matter where you are.
Think of Hagar, the unseen woman who said of God, "You are the God who sees me" (Genesis 16:13). Think of David, who again and again thanked God for seeing him and rescuing him from the pit. Think of Paul, who lived with absolute assurance that God saw him and knew him. Think of Jesus, confident and secure in the knowledge that He was loved and seen by the Most High God.
My friend, you don't have to battle for attention here on this earth. You don't have to chase one image after another. All you have to do is rest in Him, for He sees you even from the darkest place.
I don't know where she is today, but God knows. He sees her, and He feels her pain. Where I, as a human, could not heal her, He can. He can go in and heal her wounds from the inside out.
And He will.
Today as I end this post, I want to ask you for a favor. This topic has weighed heavy on my mind for some time now, and God has been showing me solid truths for those of us who never feel seen. As I work on a book proposal for To Be Beautiful (which, by the way, will cover this topic extensively), I want to hear from you, girls and women who deal with this desire day-in and day-out. All you need to do is answer this question as honestly as you can (anonymously, of course):
Of all the challenges of being a woman, what is the biggest one you face?
My unlikely friend's answer was "being noticed". She would have given anything to be seen, and her life reflected that. Your life reflects your greatest desire, whether you realize it or not. I am looking to hear from 100 women (I know, big goal!), so-if you would-answer this question as briefly or as extensively as you want and then pass it on. All you have to do is click "Comment" and type your answer in anonymously.
It's that simple.
And remember that you are noticed today, even when you feel the most invisible.
She, dressed in black from head to toe, hid beneath the hair always covering her face. I, dressed in whatever would cover me the most, hid beneath the face of perfection. She lived in the world where "numb" was the only available emotion; I lived in the world that never ran out of tears.
We didn't meet in the most ideal of circumstances. In fact, we were both pretty much as far "rock bottom" as rock bottom can get.
I didn't plan on talking to anyone there. With my face toward the white expanse and my chair back against the room, I was pretty much unapproachable.
She found me, nevertheless.
As she sat down at the table and turned her chair toward mine, I was already planning an excuse to hightail it out of there. There were "weirdos" here, and I wanted nothing to do with any of them. As I formulated my escape plan, she started talking to me.
"What are you doing?"
I'm pretty sure I looked at her like she was an idiot at this point. I mean, how much more obvious could staring at the wall be? Did I need to put up a sign saying, "Staring at Wall. Do Not Disturb"? Don't worry though, I appeased her.
"Knitting a scarf, and-after lunch-I'll be sewing mittens to match."
It must have been my charm that encouraged her to keep on talking...because she did.
"Why are you here?"
"I have issues."
She sat there for a moment and then said, "Yeah, me too."
Wow. Shocker. All that time I had been thinking she was there on vacation.
She joined me at that table and never left. Every free moment, she sat there, sharing her story with me. As I listened to her life, I realized that she was not much different than me. Yes, the events were different. Deep down, however, she and I were cut from the same cloth. We both felt invisible in a big, scary world, and we both tried to gain the attention we craved any way we could.
"Sometimes I would give anything for someone to notice me."
She told me this after showing me her scars. Scars that spoke of deep pain she couldn't even name. Scars that cried out for attention. Scars that wanted to be seen and touched.
Scars that would never take the pain away.
I don't remember her name. I didn't keep the phone number that she stuffed in my hands before she left. I don't even remember the school she told me she went to.
All I remember is her story and its theme.
She comes to my mind often. I pray that she has found some source of healthy attention, but parts of me doubt it. Statistics show that the majority of teens who leave institutions of the world return worse than they came in. They have no hope. All they see is what they know, and what they know holds no hope.
So they end up back in the arms of institutions, hospitals, and-eventually-jails.
It's really all so sad.
Her struggle is not so foreign. We all want to be noticed. We all want to be seen. None of us want to be invisible, so we gain the attention any way we can. Some of us act out, holding the belief that any attention is better than no attention at all. Some of us chase perfection, believing that it will fill all of our needs. Some of us cling in desperation to every person we know, terrified of that moment they decide we are not worthy enough to be seen. Some of us create hopeless situations that warrant the need of a savior.
And we wait and wait and wait for that savior to come...only he never does. The human hero will never be able to save you, no matter how fancy his hero cape.
There is hope, though. There is someone who sees you in the midst of your pain, and He's waiting for you to stop chasing human heros and look to Him. He has His own scarred hands. Scars that speak of your pain. Scars that speak of your own hopelessness. Scars that speak of the victory He has won for you.
He bore your scars so you would have no need for your own.
The truth is, we all struggle with wanting to be seen. We all fear becoming invisible. Some of us just go farther for attention than others. Some of us go all the way to rock bottom, and those of us who have been there can testify that even rock bottom will not make a difference.
God sees you, no matter where you are.
Think of Hagar, the unseen woman who said of God, "You are the God who sees me" (Genesis 16:13). Think of David, who again and again thanked God for seeing him and rescuing him from the pit. Think of Paul, who lived with absolute assurance that God saw him and knew him. Think of Jesus, confident and secure in the knowledge that He was loved and seen by the Most High God.
My friend, you don't have to battle for attention here on this earth. You don't have to chase one image after another. All you have to do is rest in Him, for He sees you even from the darkest place.
I don't know where she is today, but God knows. He sees her, and He feels her pain. Where I, as a human, could not heal her, He can. He can go in and heal her wounds from the inside out.
And He will.
Today as I end this post, I want to ask you for a favor. This topic has weighed heavy on my mind for some time now, and God has been showing me solid truths for those of us who never feel seen. As I work on a book proposal for To Be Beautiful (which, by the way, will cover this topic extensively), I want to hear from you, girls and women who deal with this desire day-in and day-out. All you need to do is answer this question as honestly as you can (anonymously, of course):
Of all the challenges of being a woman, what is the biggest one you face?
My unlikely friend's answer was "being noticed". She would have given anything to be seen, and her life reflected that. Your life reflects your greatest desire, whether you realize it or not. I am looking to hear from 100 women (I know, big goal!), so-if you would-answer this question as briefly or as extensively as you want and then pass it on. All you have to do is click "Comment" and type your answer in anonymously.
It's that simple.
And remember that you are noticed today, even when you feel the most invisible.
Something to Ponder...
11/10/2009
This video really got me thinking about beauty and its definition. Take a look:
When did beauty start to become an "issue" in your life? To really get to the core of the beauty problem, we have to go back and look at it from the eyes of a little girl. It's only then that we can move on and gather truth.
When did beauty start to become an "issue" in your life? To really get to the core of the beauty problem, we have to go back and look at it from the eyes of a little girl. It's only then that we can move on and gather truth.
Why I Can't Stand 'Normal' People
11/09/2009
I am perfectly okay with reading a magazine. I am also perfectly okay with driving past billboard after billboard of photoshopped creations. What I am not okay with, however, is dealing with all the normal girls in my life.
Let me explain.
When I glance at a magazine, I expect to see perfection. I know I shouldn't, but I do; it's their reputation. So I am somewhat prepared to be smothered with images of perfection that I will never be able to attain. I count on seeing models the size of my right leg. I even anticipate looking at zit-free reflections and sighing with the hope that one day my face will be just a smooth and blemish-free as their faces appear.
Warped, I know. But so true.
Then I put down those polished magazines and look at the world around me. I see normal. I see average, everyday girls...and I feel helplessly inadequate. I compare more with the girl sitting next to me in class than I do with the woman staring at me from the magazine of perfection. I compare more with that mom (who still looks beautiful after having however many kids) than I do with the gazelle plastered on the billboard.
It's not the picture perfect images that make me feel the most insecure; it's the everyday girls and women around me.
We can give the media a lot of criticism for showcasing "unrealistic" images. We can talk about how the size of models is just plain "unacceptable". We can even boycott those images and shun those super thin people.
But we can't run away from real life.
We are always going to deal with comparison. It's not the media that is the problem...it's us. If the media and everything in its control were to disappear today, we would still feel inadequate.
Why?
Because there would still be beautiful girls and women around us. We would still compare. We would still despair. We would still be unhappy with our appearances in light of someone else's beauty.
The other day I was complaining to my mom about some "giant" flaw in my appearance. (Yes, I too have my own insecurities.) As I stood there in self-pity, about to be consumed by the world of ugly, she said something that caught my attention:
"If you had no one else to compare yourself to, would it matter?"
Okay, I'll admit, at the time I said "yes". Give me a break; I was stuck in mirror-mode. I started thinking about it, though. I started wondering how much time, energy and thought I would give my appearance if there was no other woman on this earth. Want to know what I realized?
My appearance really wouldn't matter.
I wouldn't be concerned with the permanent shopping bag like features under my eyes. I wouldn't care what the size of my jeans said. I wouldn't be caught up in the image in the mirror. I wouldn't be focused at all on the way I look because it just wouldn't matter.
It would, after all, just be me. And God, that is.
I wonder, what if I lived like that? What if I lived as though there was no one else to compare with? Would beauty have less of a hold on my life? Would the mirror be just another object to pass by? Would clothes be just that...clothes?
It's worth giving it a shot.
I can't help but think of Peter asking Jesus the same kind of questions I ask God everyday. Peter asked Jesus over and over again, "Lord, what about him?" I imagine Peter was every bit as insecure as I am. I imagine he looked at the other disciples and wondered where he fit in. I imagine he felt helplessly inadequate.
Jesus did not feed Peter's comparison. His response was meant to cut off all comparison for good. He continued to ask Peter, "what is that to you? You must follow me."
Who are you comparing yourself to today? Are you following the Lord with your life, or are you chasing after the next definition of beautiful, trying to measure up to one girl after another? It's hard to ignore her, I know. It's hard to ignore the attention she seems to get because of her beauty. It's hard not to compare to all of her outstanding abilities.
But how would you live if she wasn't here?
It's a question worth pondering.
Let me explain.
When I glance at a magazine, I expect to see perfection. I know I shouldn't, but I do; it's their reputation. So I am somewhat prepared to be smothered with images of perfection that I will never be able to attain. I count on seeing models the size of my right leg. I even anticipate looking at zit-free reflections and sighing with the hope that one day my face will be just a smooth and blemish-free as their faces appear.
Warped, I know. But so true.
Then I put down those polished magazines and look at the world around me. I see normal. I see average, everyday girls...and I feel helplessly inadequate. I compare more with the girl sitting next to me in class than I do with the woman staring at me from the magazine of perfection. I compare more with that mom (who still looks beautiful after having however many kids) than I do with the gazelle plastered on the billboard.
It's not the picture perfect images that make me feel the most insecure; it's the everyday girls and women around me.
We can give the media a lot of criticism for showcasing "unrealistic" images. We can talk about how the size of models is just plain "unacceptable". We can even boycott those images and shun those super thin people.
But we can't run away from real life.
We are always going to deal with comparison. It's not the media that is the problem...it's us. If the media and everything in its control were to disappear today, we would still feel inadequate.
Why?
Because there would still be beautiful girls and women around us. We would still compare. We would still despair. We would still be unhappy with our appearances in light of someone else's beauty.
The other day I was complaining to my mom about some "giant" flaw in my appearance. (Yes, I too have my own insecurities.) As I stood there in self-pity, about to be consumed by the world of ugly, she said something that caught my attention:
"If you had no one else to compare yourself to, would it matter?"
Okay, I'll admit, at the time I said "yes". Give me a break; I was stuck in mirror-mode. I started thinking about it, though. I started wondering how much time, energy and thought I would give my appearance if there was no other woman on this earth. Want to know what I realized?
My appearance really wouldn't matter.
I wouldn't be concerned with the permanent shopping bag like features under my eyes. I wouldn't care what the size of my jeans said. I wouldn't be caught up in the image in the mirror. I wouldn't be focused at all on the way I look because it just wouldn't matter.
It would, after all, just be me. And God, that is.
I wonder, what if I lived like that? What if I lived as though there was no one else to compare with? Would beauty have less of a hold on my life? Would the mirror be just another object to pass by? Would clothes be just that...clothes?
It's worth giving it a shot.
I can't help but think of Peter asking Jesus the same kind of questions I ask God everyday. Peter asked Jesus over and over again, "Lord, what about him?" I imagine Peter was every bit as insecure as I am. I imagine he looked at the other disciples and wondered where he fit in. I imagine he felt helplessly inadequate.
Jesus did not feed Peter's comparison. His response was meant to cut off all comparison for good. He continued to ask Peter, "what is that to you? You must follow me."
Who are you comparing yourself to today? Are you following the Lord with your life, or are you chasing after the next definition of beautiful, trying to measure up to one girl after another? It's hard to ignore her, I know. It's hard to ignore the attention she seems to get because of her beauty. It's hard not to compare to all of her outstanding abilities.
But how would you live if she wasn't here?
It's a question worth pondering.
Day Eighty: Free to Be You
11/05/2009
"Free to Be Me".
That's what my shirt says this morning. That's what my Bible says this morning.
That is not how I feel this morning.
I know the facts. Jesus loves me the way I am. God created me just the way He wanted me. The people who truly love me will love me no matter what.
But sometimes that's just not enough. Sometimes I want everyone to like me. Sometimes (just sometimes) I want everyone to embrace this "me" God made.
Ok, I lied... I want it all the time.
It's hard to be yourself in a world full of so many "somebody-elses", isn't it? It's hard to believe you matter when the other girl is the one walking across the stage accepting that award. It's hard to believe you're beautiful when you still sit on the sidelines and watch all your friends go from boyfriend to boyfriend to boyfriend. It's hard to believe you're worth anything when it seems like everyone glosses over you like the ad on a magazine page. It's hard to believe you're special when you feel invisible.
It's hard, I know.
There are moments I would give anything to be somebody else. Someone who is seen. Someone who is noticed. Someone who seems to have it all-together. Someone who truly makes a difference in the lives of everyone around them.
I'm not that someone, though. I don't look like her. I don't act like her. I'm not published like her. And I definitely don't speak like her.
But I was never meant to be her. I was meant to be me.
Here's the truth: you were meant to be you, no matter how you feel. You were meant to make your own difference and live your own life. You were never meant to look like her, act like her, and do the same things as her. If you were, you would be her.
But you're not. You are you. Individual, unique, and beautiful-just-the-way-you-are "you".
Don't change that. Don't even wish you could change that. There is a purpose for your life, even though you may not see it right now. There is a reason you are the way you are. There is a plan. A great, big, glorious plan with your name on it.
Today as we wrap up this 1-80 Challenge, I pray that you embrace the "you" God created. I pray that you will rest in the knowledge that you are a chosen daughter of the King. I pray that you will ignore the pressures of beauty from the outside and listen to the only voice that matters.
That voice is telling you that you are beautiful, just the way you are.
Verse: "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." (1 Peter 2:9)
That's what my shirt says this morning. That's what my Bible says this morning.
That is not how I feel this morning.
I know the facts. Jesus loves me the way I am. God created me just the way He wanted me. The people who truly love me will love me no matter what.
But sometimes that's just not enough. Sometimes I want everyone to like me. Sometimes (just sometimes) I want everyone to embrace this "me" God made.
Ok, I lied... I want it all the time.
It's hard to be yourself in a world full of so many "somebody-elses", isn't it? It's hard to believe you matter when the other girl is the one walking across the stage accepting that award. It's hard to believe you're beautiful when you still sit on the sidelines and watch all your friends go from boyfriend to boyfriend to boyfriend. It's hard to believe you're worth anything when it seems like everyone glosses over you like the ad on a magazine page. It's hard to believe you're special when you feel invisible.
It's hard, I know.
There are moments I would give anything to be somebody else. Someone who is seen. Someone who is noticed. Someone who seems to have it all-together. Someone who truly makes a difference in the lives of everyone around them.
I'm not that someone, though. I don't look like her. I don't act like her. I'm not published like her. And I definitely don't speak like her.
But I was never meant to be her. I was meant to be me.
Here's the truth: you were meant to be you, no matter how you feel. You were meant to make your own difference and live your own life. You were never meant to look like her, act like her, and do the same things as her. If you were, you would be her.
But you're not. You are you. Individual, unique, and beautiful-just-the-way-you-are "you".
Don't change that. Don't even wish you could change that. There is a purpose for your life, even though you may not see it right now. There is a reason you are the way you are. There is a plan. A great, big, glorious plan with your name on it.
Today as we wrap up this 1-80 Challenge, I pray that you embrace the "you" God created. I pray that you will rest in the knowledge that you are a chosen daughter of the King. I pray that you will ignore the pressures of beauty from the outside and listen to the only voice that matters.
That voice is telling you that you are beautiful, just the way you are.
Verse: "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." (1 Peter 2:9)
Day Seventy-Nine: Turn It Around
11/04/2009
I don't remember the first time I felt "un-beautiful".
There wasn't a lightning bolt moment that destined me to years and years of feeling unworthy. There wasn't a big blow-out.
There was just a moment when I realized that I wasn't as pretty as some of the other girls.
Most of us don't have huge, momentous "un-beautiful" moments. We can't pinpoint the exact moment we started believing the lie. We can't pinpoint why we started believing the lie. All we can do is tell you the moment we remember living by the lie instead of by the truth.
The lie walked through the doors of my mind in elementary school, and there it has stayed ever since. It never graduated. It never dropped out. It stayed, like the school custodian of 20 years.
And it pestered. Oh, did it pester!
The lie has been the same through the years: "You're not pretty...no one will ever like you...you won't go far in life with a face like that...you'll never be good enough...thin enough...pretty enough..."
And so the story goes.
I still hear the lie. Sometimes I still listen to the lie.
And something tells me you do to.
The other day I started getting really frustrated with Mr. Lie. I mean, I was really angry. I was tired of always competing with every girl that came across my path. I was tired of having to please the mirror, every second of every day. I was tired of never feeling good enough to do anything, and I just wanted him to go away.
But I didn't know how to do that.
Isn't it crazy how quickly we can forget the skills we've learned? All the verses in my head seemed to disappear in the face of the lie. All the truth seemed to temporarily take a vacation from my head.
I was left feeling ugly, frustrated, and defeated.
I'll even admit, I stayed that way for a couple of days.
Then I just got so sick of the lie that I had to do something. I took my weapon and fought back. The first arrow didn't seem to penetrate Mr. Lie's armor, but I kept on shooting. And shooting. And shooting.
Let me tell you, it was a war zone in my mind.
Here's the thing that surprised me at the end of the day: Mr. Lie did not go away. At the end of the battle, he was still standing there in front of me, with that same 'ole sneer on his face. He still flung the lies straight at me.
Only this time he had no power over me.
You see, when you start to use scripture to turn those lies around, the lies don't go away. They're still there. They still come after you. They still pester you. They just don't have any power over you.
Today I challenge you to turn those lies around. Search for the truth in your weapon bag. Get out your bible (the one you may not have used in years), and start stockpiling up your weapons. Turn around every lie. Yes, each and every one of them. When you can't find the truth and it seems like God is being silent, keep looking. I promise, He's given us the arrow for every battle we will ever face.
We just have to look for it.
Verse: "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)
There wasn't a lightning bolt moment that destined me to years and years of feeling unworthy. There wasn't a big blow-out.
There was just a moment when I realized that I wasn't as pretty as some of the other girls.
Most of us don't have huge, momentous "un-beautiful" moments. We can't pinpoint the exact moment we started believing the lie. We can't pinpoint why we started believing the lie. All we can do is tell you the moment we remember living by the lie instead of by the truth.
The lie walked through the doors of my mind in elementary school, and there it has stayed ever since. It never graduated. It never dropped out. It stayed, like the school custodian of 20 years.
And it pestered. Oh, did it pester!
The lie has been the same through the years: "You're not pretty...no one will ever like you...you won't go far in life with a face like that...you'll never be good enough...thin enough...pretty enough..."
And so the story goes.
I still hear the lie. Sometimes I still listen to the lie.
And something tells me you do to.
The other day I started getting really frustrated with Mr. Lie. I mean, I was really angry. I was tired of always competing with every girl that came across my path. I was tired of having to please the mirror, every second of every day. I was tired of never feeling good enough to do anything, and I just wanted him to go away.
But I didn't know how to do that.
Isn't it crazy how quickly we can forget the skills we've learned? All the verses in my head seemed to disappear in the face of the lie. All the truth seemed to temporarily take a vacation from my head.
I was left feeling ugly, frustrated, and defeated.
I'll even admit, I stayed that way for a couple of days.
Then I just got so sick of the lie that I had to do something. I took my weapon and fought back. The first arrow didn't seem to penetrate Mr. Lie's armor, but I kept on shooting. And shooting. And shooting.
Let me tell you, it was a war zone in my mind.
Here's the thing that surprised me at the end of the day: Mr. Lie did not go away. At the end of the battle, he was still standing there in front of me, with that same 'ole sneer on his face. He still flung the lies straight at me.
Only this time he had no power over me.
You see, when you start to use scripture to turn those lies around, the lies don't go away. They're still there. They still come after you. They still pester you. They just don't have any power over you.
Today I challenge you to turn those lies around. Search for the truth in your weapon bag. Get out your bible (the one you may not have used in years), and start stockpiling up your weapons. Turn around every lie. Yes, each and every one of them. When you can't find the truth and it seems like God is being silent, keep looking. I promise, He's given us the arrow for every battle we will ever face.
We just have to look for it.
Verse: "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)
Day Seventy-Eight: You Can't Change on Your Own
11/03/2009
I was frustrated.
As I looked into the mirror that morning, my only thoughts were negative. I hated everything I saw. I hated the way I never seemed to measure up. I hated seeing an imperfect reflection in the glass. I hated the me I faced.
I was frustrated and tired of trying to change. I had done everything in the book, but there was still no change. I still hated what I saw every time I looked in the glass.
"What's the point of trying to change when all your efforts come down to NOTHING?!?"
I have asked this question so many times. I have camped on this question so many times. In fact, I have let this question determine my attitude far too many times to count.
It's easy to get discouraged, isn't it? When you are faced with the same old junk day-in and day-out, it can be hard to keep up a good attitude. It's hard to believe in change when you still face your struggles, even after you've tried all the methods, memorized all the scriptures, and thrown out all the magazines.
Believe me, I know. I know what it's like to say, "Forget it." I know what it's like to want to throw in the towel because you see no progress. I know what it's like to work and work and work for nothing. I know, it's hard.
But I also know this: You can work for change all you want, but until you give it to God, nothing will change. You can make the best efforts. You can memorize the most verses. You can cut off every obstacle in your life, but until you give it to God and allow Him to change you, all that work will result in nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
You can't do it on your own. You can try, but I guarantee that you will only be left more frustrated and defeated.
So why not give it to God? Why not let Him change you?
If you truly aren't seeing change, you have nothing to lose by giving it to God. Give Him those thoughts that never seem to go away. Give Him your efforts. Give Him your worries, your fears, and your frustrations. Give Him your life, and He will work it out for His glory.
That's a promise.
God will not leave you there, my friend. He's there to pick up the pieces of all your effort... you just have to let Him.
Verse: "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:8-10)
As I looked into the mirror that morning, my only thoughts were negative. I hated everything I saw. I hated the way I never seemed to measure up. I hated seeing an imperfect reflection in the glass. I hated the me I faced.
I was frustrated and tired of trying to change. I had done everything in the book, but there was still no change. I still hated what I saw every time I looked in the glass.
"What's the point of trying to change when all your efforts come down to NOTHING?!?"
I have asked this question so many times. I have camped on this question so many times. In fact, I have let this question determine my attitude far too many times to count.
It's easy to get discouraged, isn't it? When you are faced with the same old junk day-in and day-out, it can be hard to keep up a good attitude. It's hard to believe in change when you still face your struggles, even after you've tried all the methods, memorized all the scriptures, and thrown out all the magazines.
Believe me, I know. I know what it's like to say, "Forget it." I know what it's like to want to throw in the towel because you see no progress. I know what it's like to work and work and work for nothing. I know, it's hard.
But I also know this: You can work for change all you want, but until you give it to God, nothing will change. You can make the best efforts. You can memorize the most verses. You can cut off every obstacle in your life, but until you give it to God and allow Him to change you, all that work will result in nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
You can't do it on your own. You can try, but I guarantee that you will only be left more frustrated and defeated.
So why not give it to God? Why not let Him change you?
If you truly aren't seeing change, you have nothing to lose by giving it to God. Give Him those thoughts that never seem to go away. Give Him your efforts. Give Him your worries, your fears, and your frustrations. Give Him your life, and He will work it out for His glory.
That's a promise.
God will not leave you there, my friend. He's there to pick up the pieces of all your effort... you just have to let Him.
Verse: "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:8-10)
Day Seventy-Seven: Challenge Your Standards
11/02/2009
It's hard to believe that you are beautiful. It's hard to look in the mirror and actually like what you see. It's hard to listen to the truth when the lie is staring you right in the face.
Believe me, I know.
When I watch TV, I am fully aware of all the ways I come up short. When I glance through a magazine, I am assaulted with images of picture-perfect models that push the "Jealousy" button. When I am around certain women, I realize that I still have many, many insecurities.
Those are the moments that make me realize I need to change my standards of beauty.
We all have standards. We all live by "rules" of what is beautiful and what is not. My standards are different than yours. Your standards are different than mine.
But they still need to change.
In order to live a healthy life (one not wrapped up in self-misery), we have to change our standards of what beauty is to each and every one of us. If your standards sound like any of the following, it might be time for some readjusting.
Top Ten Common Misconceptions About Beauty
1. I am only beautiful when the number on the scale reads .
2. I am only beautiful when I wear a .
3. I am only beautiful when someone compliments me. (And when they do finally compliment me, I am only as beautiful as the number of compliments I receive after that).
4. I am only beautiful when I look like so-and-so.
5. I am only beautiful when I look in the mirror and like everything I see.
6. I am only beautiful when I have a boyfriend. (And if I don't have a boyfriend, husband, etc. I am obviously not beautiful.)
7. I am only beautiful when the wrinkles disappear, the acne goes away, and the imperfections cease to be there.
8. I am only beautiful when I am in a room full of "un-beautiful" people.
9. I am only beautiful when everything is put together just-so.
10. I am only beautiful if someone tells me I'm beautiful...today.
These are some of my standards. These are the lies I cling to in those insecure moments.
These are not the true definitions of beauty. Not even close.
Today I am reworking my truths. Today I am challenging those definitions one by one and aligning them with what I know is to be true. Today I am choosing to believe that I am beautiful.
And with that choice, all these standards go flying out the window.
Believe me, I know.
When I watch TV, I am fully aware of all the ways I come up short. When I glance through a magazine, I am assaulted with images of picture-perfect models that push the "Jealousy" button. When I am around certain women, I realize that I still have many, many insecurities.
Those are the moments that make me realize I need to change my standards of beauty.
We all have standards. We all live by "rules" of what is beautiful and what is not. My standards are different than yours. Your standards are different than mine.
But they still need to change.
In order to live a healthy life (one not wrapped up in self-misery), we have to change our standards of what beauty is to each and every one of us. If your standards sound like any of the following, it might be time for some readjusting.
Top Ten Common Misconceptions About Beauty
1. I am only beautiful when the number on the scale reads .
2. I am only beautiful when I wear a .
3. I am only beautiful when someone compliments me. (And when they do finally compliment me, I am only as beautiful as the number of compliments I receive after that).
4. I am only beautiful when I look like so-and-so.
5. I am only beautiful when I look in the mirror and like everything I see.
6. I am only beautiful when I have a boyfriend. (And if I don't have a boyfriend, husband, etc. I am obviously not beautiful.)
7. I am only beautiful when the wrinkles disappear, the acne goes away, and the imperfections cease to be there.
8. I am only beautiful when I am in a room full of "un-beautiful" people.
9. I am only beautiful when everything is put together just-so.
10. I am only beautiful if someone tells me I'm beautiful...today.
These are some of my standards. These are the lies I cling to in those insecure moments.
These are not the true definitions of beauty. Not even close.
Today I am reworking my truths. Today I am challenging those definitions one by one and aligning them with what I know is to be true. Today I am choosing to believe that I am beautiful.
And with that choice, all these standards go flying out the window.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)